Love and Obsession
by BadCookie
Summary: Finn Hudson is adopted into the St. Jessie's home and quickly finds a friend in the daughter Rachel. However, not everyone is please with the friendship which grows into something stronger. Based on Wuthering Hights.
1. Chapter 1

_**Note: Well, I'm back. I know I said I'd stop, but I got a review from a guest, and I'd like to that I them, who persuaded me to come back. I also had this idea for so long and really wanted to try doing something completely different from what I'm used to. This story is based on a very well known novel if you've read it, still read on, I plan on changing the ending. I'm sorry this isn't as comical as my last story, its serious, but hopefully good. **_

_**Enjoy and please review so I know if I should continue. **_

_**Xx**_

The house what bigger than anything he had been used to. Though he was only used to make shift shelters most of the time. It had been years since he'd lived in an actual house, however this was more of a manor. A manor which was now going to be is home. A stiff clap on his back brought him back into real time and away from this memorise which he was eager to forget. He shook his head to get his too long fringe out if his eyes which harboured hurt and abandonment.

"How do you feel, boy?" A gruff voice asked, one he'd become familiar with over the past few days, "I know it's different, but make yourself at home, as it is your home now." The man walked passed him and smiled a warm smile which help ease some of the nerves he'd been feeling since they approached to manor. The man walked deeper into the living area where a fire was already lit and roaring away, making the shadows in the corners dance as the flames flickered. Just as he reached the centre of the room, the patter of sudden footsteps could be heard throughout the living room and all eyes were at the stairs to the left of the fire place where a small girl appeared with a huge smile on her face as she spotted the elder of the two males. She was around his age, maybe a year or two younger, with long dark hair and bright chocolate round eyes which lit up at the sight of the other man. She was in a simple maroon dress with a lace neck and her hair was in soft curls and styled with a black ribbon.

"Daddy!" She squealed and jumped into his arms and he began to twirl with her in his arms round the room. It was then he noticed the boy staring.

"Hello, pumpkin! Darling?" He put her down and she held tightly onto his hand, "this is Finn, Finn Hudson."

Their eyes met. But not for too long as Finn looked away, becoming shy of the young girl's gaze.

"Who is he, daddy?" She tried to whisper, but it was clearly audible and immediately Finn became embarrassed. Of course he had a family, he'd mentioned it the whole journey over. Finn just never thought it'd be this awkward. He's never seen or experienced a proper family functioning before, and here he was about to the thrown into one. One he wanted to settle in as he liked Mr St. James, and his daughter seemed sweet enough, although she was kind of loud and he's only met her two minutes ago.

"Yes, father, who is he?" Finn jumped at the icy voice which had come from the bottom of the stairs. A young man, a few years older than him, was now standing where the girl had come from. He too had dark hair but unlike the girl he had tight curls, like Mr St. James. He seemed to give himself airs which the other two didn't. When he looked down at Finn his eyes showed none of the kindness which Mr St. James did, nor was there the brightness or hope the young girl had. It was more of a glare, a cold icy one and Finn got the immediate feeling that he wasn't wanted.

"He is going to be your new brother," Mr St. James continued, apparently oblivious to his son's unwelcoming nature. He shuffled from foot to foot as he felt the two children's eyes on him as they tried to understand.

"Brother? He is going to he my brother?" The young girl questioned, clearly more confused than Finn about the whole situation.

"Yes. I know this is a little unusual, but it's happening. So you both better get used to it." He seemed to direct the final sentence to his son who was still standing stiffly at the foot of the stairs.

The girl timidly stepped away from her father and closer to Finn, finding her confidence with each step, "I'm Rachel, Rachel St. James. I'm seven years old and like riding on our horses, one day I hope daddy will get me my own," she held out a hand which Finn eyed in alarm. Rachel just held out her hand and seemed to egg him on with her eyes to take it, which he finally did. He earned himself a smile from Mr St. James and Rachel's smile seemed to grow wider. It was almost infectious, almost, until the son ruined the little scene in front of him.

"This is utterly ridiculous. Do you know what people will say? Because you've brought some gypsy into the house. It's mortifying." Rachel finally looked away from Finn and back to her father as if to ask if what her brother was saying was in fact true.

"Jesse, please. Finn is staying, and that's final. Now, where is Shelby to run him a bath?"

"She's in the pantry, getting diner ready. She said she'd run you a bath when you were home, and for me to tell her as soon as you were," Rachel skipped to the hallway but was stopped by her father.

"No, sweetie, it's alright. I would like to speak to her anyway, and...warn her about the new living arrangements." He left the room with one final stern look at Jesse, leaving the three children alone.

Finn looked awkwardly at the furniture wanting nothing more but to sit down after the long journey. Rachel, who was still standing in the doorway seemed to notice his eyes darting from armchair to sofa and back again. A soft, almost sympathy smile spread across her face, "you know it's alright to sit down. Shelby plumped the cushions earlier, I helped in fact." She skipped back into the heart of the room and took Finn's hand before he could flinch away and she lead him to the armchair closest to the fire.

Just as he was about to sit down Jesse finally came into the room fully, "no, he'll get it dirty with his gypsy dirt. Don't sit Hudson. You can only sit in the stables where you belong, with the animals."

Finn kept his head down, but looked up to the other boy through his untamed fringe and swallowed. Its not as though Finn was scared, he was just trying to contain his anger at the older boy's cruel words. Rachel just looked between the two of them, slightly confused, "do you like animals, Finn-"

"Call him Hudson."

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

"But-"

"No 'but's."

"Fine! Do you like animals, Hudson?" Rachel sat on the floor, almost aware that if she sat on any of the furniture, Jesse would prevent Finn from joining her. There was a long silence and all that could be heard was the crackle of the fire as Finn looked at her. She appeared so sweet and innocent, unlike him. All his childhood innocence had been stripped from him. He only knew of hurt, and pain and battle, whereas Rachel still was the picture of light, and hopefulness, and dreams. Still, something told him, maybe she wasn't completely innocent, she wasn't as picture perfect as her brother thought her, she had a wild side, one she knew wasn't acceptable for a young woman, but she still enjoyed delving into. Whether it be running round the moors in her best Sunday dress or the house while there was company. This side intrigued Finn the most. Her spirt. It would be something to set her apart from the other girls of class, and something which told him, maybe, just maybe everything would be fine here, as long as he had Rachel.

"Well, Hudson? Are you going to answer the lady? Or are you so stupid you can't talk?" Jesse sniggered and walked round behind Finn so he was trapped, he kicked the back of his knee causing him to fall to the floor and kneel before Rachel. Jesse bent over slowly to mutter in his ear, "you will answer your superiors, or suffer the consequences."

Rachel eyed both of them before that flare, Finn knew was there came out, "but he's our brother, Jesse. We are all equals. That's what daddy wants. Not for you to kick Hudson. He's our equal." Finn looked at her astonished. She was bright for her age, very bright. The way she spoke reminded him of her father, how he spoke about the class system and the way people where treated. He liked it.

"Father seems to have had a laps of judgement if he really thinks I will treat this, thing, as an equal. And if you knew better you'd follow my example." With than Jesse gave Finn's head a hard push and left, back up stairs, leaving the younger two children alone.

"Well? Do you?" She looked expectantly, eyelids batting.

"Do I, what?" He mumbled, realising this is the first time he'd spoken.

"Like animals? Because I do, I love them. I know I shouldn't, but I love watching and helping the stable boy. And I would love to have a horse of my own, but daddy says I'm too young at the moment. But soon."

He could only look at her. She was the first person, except her father, to show him kindness, it was refreshing, but he didn't know what to do with it, "yes. I like animals."

He really should have said more, but was there to say? She asked a simple question, he gave a simple answer, fearing he's probably say something to unset her.

"Oh, well, maybe tomorrow we can go to the stables together."

"Yes."

They both sat in silence as Rachel examined him. She would occasionally tilt her head to the side and squint at him as Finn continued to get hot under her gaze, "do you read, Hudson?"

"I-no...why do you still call me that?"

"Because I think it suits you more. It's more mysterious." She stood up and held out her hand for him to take. Once again he didn't know what to do with it so Rachel took control and grabbed his. This time it wasn't a shake, she held onto it and pulled him to his feet, "you don't mind Hudson, do you, Hudson?"

He looked at her, "no. You can call me it, if it's for that reason." He actually liked the way she said it, unlike Jesse. When Rachel said Hudson it felt passionate and personal and he liked how she said he was mysterious.

"Good! Then come on, Hudson, I'm going to read to you."

It took a week for Finn to realise that Rachel really was his only friend. Mr St. James would spent most of his time in his study or out trading, so he hardly ever saw him. He did however try to make as much time as possible for him. He knew Finn settling in would be hard, but he tried to make the transition as easy as possible with Jesse. Jesse wasn't the only one, however, who wasn't happy with Finn's presence. Shelby, the maid/nanny didn't like the idea of another young master running around, especially one who seemed to have such a strong influence on Rachel. But she did as she was told and treated all of the children equally, but no matter how she tried Finn somehow could never be tamed. He liked being outdoors, getting mud on his freshly ironed trousers, and Rachel followed. It seemed being cooped up in the manor most of her life had left her without a friend, it was only now she realised how important they were. Finn, without even knowing or trying had shown her what she'd missed out on, in just one week. She even managed to get him to speak a little more. Although whenever they were in the company of someone else he would close up again.

They spent their mornings and afternoons together, either running round the moors or causing havoc in the village. They spent one particular morning sneaking round the grounds of the Fabray's manor. It was a bigger one than the St. James, with more servants and there was always something happening there. Finn and Rachel had managed to get in close to the pond and were just sitting together, throwing in pebbles, watching as the water rippled.

"I don't understand why Jesse doesn't do this," Rachel suddenly chirped up, throwing a small stone into the pond, "I love running round and doing things like this."

"It's because he's a stuck up little-"

"Hudson! Don't!"

"I'm sorry, Rachel," he looked down embarrassed. It was no secret the boys didn't get on and it looked like they never would. Finn hated Jesse and Jesse felt the same. They'd often have scraps on the staircase in which Finn would be forced to stop by Shelby and end up falling down the remaining stairs with a bloody nose. He didn't mind, Rachel would clean it up, she said she liked to pretend she was a nurse.

"I know he's difficult, but he's our brother. Besides, he won't be here much longer. Daddy's sending him off to boarding school in the autumn and then it'll just be you and me and-"

"Shh!" Finn grabbed her wrist and pulled her behind a bush so they were hidden.

Rachel didn't know what he was so concerned about but she soon realised when two children about their age came skipping down the garden towards them and the pond. Rachel looked down at where Finn still had a tight grip on her and back up to his face, where his eyes were glued to the other two children who were now talking animatedly about fish. She went on her tiptoes to try and reach Finn's ear to whisper, but she was still too small, "they're the Fabray children. That's Quinn," she tried pointing at the small girl with long blonde hair which had two white bows tied in it. She had pale skin and rosy lips and cheeks and looked like butter wouldn't melt, "and that's her brother, Brody," he was smaller than Finn, but looked the same age, whereas Quinn looked like Rachel's, however his hair was a sandy colour, but he looked just as innocent as his sister. Finn didn't have to know them to know he hated them. They were so "proper". The two of them didn't pick up the stones like Finn and Rachel did, he knew they'd been told not to for fear of getting dirty hands. It really was ridiculous, their way of life, he felt. When he and Rachel ran round not having a care in the world. A small smirk grew across his face, one Rachel was learning meant he had a plan, "what are you thinking, Hudson?" She whispered with a smile.

Finn simply looked down at her before reaching to grab a small pebble at his foot and launching it at the pond, creating a loud splash and getting dark specks of dirty pond water on Quinn's perfectly kept white, frilly dress and Brody's neatly ironed cream trousers. The two more sophisticated children quickly turned in the direction where the pebble came from, where Finn and Rachel were crouched behind the bush trying to hide their laughter at the utter shock on the other two children's faces. Rachel found the particular episode quite amusing and was having trouble keeping quiet as Brody finally spoke up, "who goes there?! Come on! Reveal yourself!"

Finn knew Rachel wasn't going to last so quickly put his hand over her mouth to stifle her joyous laughter. She turned and smiled at him with her eyes. Yes. He knew Rachel was his friend, one who he'd do anything for, even after only a week. She'd shown him more kindness than anyone, she didn't care about his background, only about his adventurous behaviour and wild nature. It was something they shared, but no one understood. He carefully peeked up from the bush to see what the other two children where doing, they showed no signs of moving and Finn and Rachel needed to get out of the garden before they were seen. He let his grip on Rachel go and handed her a pebble, "when I say, throw it as hard as you can at the pond, okay?"

She looked up into his eyes and understood. Finn looked around for an exit and once finding it gave Rachel a nod. With a smile she hurled the pebble through the air and it landed with a loud splash right on the edge neared to the other two on the side of the pond. She heard a squeal and a yelp, but couldn't see the looks of disgust or water fly up as she was being pulled by her wrist in the opposite direction.

"Hey! Hey! I see you! Don't think you'll get away with this!" Was the last he heard coming from the garden and she ran as fast as she could behind Finn as he dragged her along. They only stopped when they knew they were safe, about half a mile down the road, just before it splits and continues up to their home on the moors.

"Did you here Brody? We must have given them quite a scare," Rachel giggled as she tried to get her breath back.

"I would have thought so, they deserve it," Finn muttered in his usual tone.

"Why? Why do they deserve it?"

"It's people like them who need to learn to loosen up. They're so caught up in what's right and proper that they forget about the rest of the world."

"Isn't that what we do? Forget about the rest of the world?"

He examined her for a moment, but smiled, "yes. Yes we do. But that's different, because it's only you and me, not a whole class of people."

"That's how I like it. You and me."

He was almost glued to the spot. He'd never felt this way towards anyone before, and he wondered if she had. In their young age he suspected not, but it didn't change the fact he now felt a certain hold over the girl, like he needed and wanted to protect her and show her everything, and he wanted to see the world through her eyes. "Come on! Or Shelby will wonder where we are...again!" Instead of letting go of his hand she gave it a squeeze and ushered him to follow her up the path still connected, which, of course, he did.

It was with a heavy sigh that Shelby threw down her basket. Her job only became this stressful when a third child was added to the family. Before Rachel and Jesse were angels, they'd follow orders with little fuss. They were close to being the perfect children, ones who you'd let talk at the diner table and show off to the reverend and his wife when they came to tea, but Finn was a different tale. He was the talk of the village, but for the wrong reasons, she just had to endure yet another conversation about the fact Mr St. James let a gypsy in the house. It was all the women in the villages were talking about, Finn's lack of respect and wild ways. It was embarrassing for the family, to be spoken of in such bad terms, and she was starting to see Jesse's reasoning behind his behaviour. It wasn't how it should be dealt with, but at least it was showing how wrong the whole situation was. Whatever Rachel and Mr St Jesse saw was a completely different person to what the rest of the world saw; some long haired, muddy kneed, scowling gypsy boy. Just thinking of his stare made her skin crawl. She picked up the apples she's just purchased and ran them under some cold clean water at the sink, she looked up and made out two figures through the lightly frosted window. Hudson and Rachel, frolicking in the flower beds. They'd spent most of the day out on the moors and only return for lunch and supper. It was nice, she thought, seeing Rachel happy. However it was for the wrong reasons, Finn was a bad influence on her, and in time, as she grew into a proper young lady, she'd see it. Or so Shelby hoped.

At the end of summer Jesse was packed and eager to leave the house. He'd had enough of his father's 'charitable' ways and his own sister turning on him, it seemed. It had been only a month or two and already he felt like the house had been taken over by mad men, Hudson being the leader of it all. The way he'd creep around, and scowl at anyone who spoke to him. The way he'd no concern for the way he was supposed to behave and preferring to blacken the family name further. It was sickening, however, Jesse had managed to assert some authority during the time the boys were living together. The look on Hudson's face when Jesse had locked the two of them in the stables and beaten him until he could barely walk will remain a happy memory in his mind. He thought that would have taught Hudson a lesson, a lesson in what? He wasn't sure, but a lesson none the less. It also gave him satisfaction to know Hudson, wouldn't be joining him at school due to how uneducated he was, he'd spend his days at home, probably mucking out the stables, like he should be already. No doubt Rachel will be at his side like a little lap dog she now was. It disgusted him to think his sister had accepted that gypsy, that dirty animal. And how she spends most if not all of her days with him, people were staring to question her intentions. How was she going to find a suitable husband if she was to be associated with Hudson. Maybe it was a little early to be thinking of Rachel's future like that yet, a few more years.

Walking out the front doors to where his carriage waited he passed Shelby and gave her a nod goodbye, she was just a nanny to him anyway, an all-purpose-maid, no emotional connection to the woman. When he finally reached his father, he gave him a gentlemanly nod, the older man was slightly taken aback, but Jesse had no other words for the man who adopted a gypsy boy into the household. He did, however, hold some hope for his sister, who he'd convinced himself was just going through a phase. Taking a step away from the rest of the group, he beaconed her over so no one could hear. Rachel, completely unaware skipped over with a bright smile on her face, her cheeks were a healthy pink from her morning out on the moors with Finn, "I'll miss you, Jess-"

"Keep an eye on Hudson. With any luck he'll be gone by the winter, when father realises the mistake he's made. Until then you do your best to push him out, agreed?"

Rachel looked at him, confused and tried to shake off his arm which he'd place round her shoulder, "but I like Hudson, he's my frie-"

Jesse raised a finger to her lips, "don't say that. I like the acted you've put on so far, and it could play in our favour; 'keep your enemies close'. Very clever, Rachel."

She batted his hand away, "it's no act, brother! I like him! And if you took the time to actually talk to him without violence I'm sure-"

"A clever girl and a funny one! You better watch it Rachel, those traits, although charming now, are no way for a lady to act, especially around an authoritative figure. I don't suppose you've gained this wild streak from Hudson?" He eyed her, knowing all to well that the innocent polite girl he once knew had been corrupted by that gypsy.

"I think you better go now, before I can't hold my tongue in a 'ladylike manner'," Rachel said dully and returned to Finn who had been desperately trying to listen in. To no ones surprise Jesse exchanged no goodbye with Finn, not even a nod. If anything the two boys had a last minute stare off as Jesse's carriage made its way down the drive and away from the house.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Note: Sorry about slow updates, but that's just how it's going to be from now on. Thank you for sticking with the story, and just know it has so much left to come! :) **_

_**So please continue reviewing so I know what you like and try to make it a pleasurable read for you! **_

_**Xx**_

"Hudson?" Finn turned slowly, taking his attention away from Rachel, who was running along the rows of market stools, giggling and occasionally looking back at him. Their eyes would meet and she's beam at him and he'd smirk back. She never failed to make him smile. After eleven years together he never got tired of seeing that smile, it was a smile which put even the most beautiful of things in the world to shame. It was meaningful, whenever it made an appearance you believed completely in it, that nothing could bring her more joy than what was being said or done at that moment. It held an optimism and brightness that never tired, and a coyness that Finn was sure was reserved only for him, or more he hoped. Her hair was still as dark as it always had been, however now it showed not effort of being tamed but was long and lose, it ran behind her like a trail as she skipped round the market. Her eyes were as bright and brown as always, they'd never changed, she still held the hope and innocence. She was Rachel, his Rachel; free, wild and spirited.

As for him, he has grown into his skin, he supposed, he towered over all the other men his age, but his hair was still wild, it didn't matter what anyone tried to do, somehow the fringe still framed his face, it was how he liked it, it kept his mystery. Rachel didn't seem to mind, she loved running her fingers through it and mopping it out his eyes in the rain.

"Hudson? Oi! I'm talking to you, boy!" Although the words were blunt and harsh, he knew by the tone Mr St. James was teasing. Taking his mind off Rachel he gave full attention to his father and master, "what do you think?"

Finn blinked at him a few times, not sure what he was referring to, until he noticed the white horse behind him. It was beautiful, pure white. A good size, and the mane was full and thick. Having spent his later years earning his keep maintaining the horses, no one would employe Finn otherwise. He didn't mind, it meant he got to spend his days at the house, with Rachel, just as they liked it, "what do I think?" Although he now knew the most about horses, he'd have thought Mr St. James knew enough to know a good one when he saw it, he'd bough plenty without Finn before.

"Yes, boy! What do you think? Does it suit you?" Mr St. James stood next to Finn and examined the horse with him.

"Suit me?" Finn was bewildered, he thought he knew what Mr St. James was inferring, but he couldn't be sure, he didn't was to expect anything of the man who gave him a home when he had none, and the friend he never knew he needed in his only daughter.

"Yes, Hudson," he shook Finn playfully by the shoulders, "I intend on buying it for you."

Finn looked at him, with a smile he, over the years, had used more and more, "sir, really? I couldn't possibly-" Finn's eyes fell on something behind Mr St. James, on Rachel, who was peering over at her two favourite men; distracted from her conversation with Shelby.

"Honestly, Hudson. You've done more than be a son to me, you've been a friend and brother to my little girl and a loyal servant which I still object to..." He rambled on about Finn's duties and accomplishments while Finn and Rachel spoke only through glances.

"I actually think this horse needs a little trial," Finn cut the man off, "Rachel!"

Her smile grew as Finn called her name, she was desperately bored with Shelby talking about which thread she needed to mend a tear in one of Rachel's jackets and was more engaged with the conversation between Finn and her father, which she couldn't even hear, but just knew it was more interesting. She stumbled over to them and looked between Finn and her father, "yes?" She asked hopefully.

"Take his lovely horse into that open field and give her a ride," Finn instructed and watch as her face lit up with instruction to ride. He knew she'd like the idea, she loved horses as much as she did eleven years ago, and would constantly help him dress and muck them out. Rachel led the white horse into the open field, she led her round a few times before mounting bear back and trotted up and down.

From the gate both men and the seller watched her enjoying herself.

"Are you trying to tell me something, Hudson?" Mr St. James asked slyly, his eyes still on Rachel.

"Eleven years ago a little girl told me she hoped her father would buy her a horse of her own. I think that day has come, don't you?" Finn replied with a smile, never talking his eyes off Rachel. You could hear her giggling and praising the horse as it obeyed her every command.

"She adores you, you know that?"

"She shouldn't. I'm nothing but trouble, everyone else knows it."

"She doesn't see it."

There was a brief silence between them and they heard Rachel cheer, making Finn chuckle and the older man's gaze wonder over him.

"She's special, but no doubt you can see that," he almost teased as Rachel trotted up to them, giving Finn no time to reply.

"She's a beautiful horse," she said, stroking its nose lovingly.

"Good thing you like it, it's for you," her father informed her and Rachel looked at him in utter shock.

"What? Really? Really, daddy?!" She tugged gently on his blazer begging him to confirm he wasn't just pulling her leg.

"Yes, really pumpkin," he gave a sideways look to Finn who was looking at Rachel admiringly, "it was Hudson's idea."

She quickly turned to Finn and caught him looking back at her. As their eyes met she bit her bottom lip before mouthing a "thank you" and slipped her arm round his, resting her head on his forearm, casually.

"Right, you two head back now with this horse, while I finish up here, okay?"

They both smiled and Rachel gave her father a kiss on the cheek with gratitude as Finn took the rope and lead the horse up a road in the direction of the manor. Rachel caught up and giggled excitedly.

"Happy, are you?"

"Extremely!"

He smiled to himself, as they strolled along together, horse in toe, "what are you going to call her?"

"Ohhh, tricky question...Maybe...snowdrop?" She said the name is a sugary sweet mocking tone and Finn raised an eyebrow, "ha! That's what the Fabray's new kitten is called. It's also white, and fluffy." They laughed together at the ridiculous name, "okay, okay. How about...Scarlet?"

"But the horse is white, it doesn't make sense."

"But Scarlet is red, and red is the colour of danger!"

"And also anger. And it still doesn't make sense."

"Does it have to?," she walked a little ahead, but backwards so she could face him as they spoke.

"I suppose, you never really made sense, but why burden a horse with that trait?" He teased her, it was something he loved about her, her randomness and the way Rachel was completely different from all the other girls.

"You're teasing me, are you not, Hudson?" She tried to give him a stern look, but couldn't keep a straight face.

"I am, darling Rachel. But I do think you should think of a more suitable name for such a pure horse. In that way she's like you."

"Pure?! You think I am pure and innocent, Hudson?" She looked very taken aback, but he knew she wasn't serious as she acted offended.

"I think you still have some of the mind of an innocent young lady." He played along, but not meeting her eye, until she stopped in the road, causing him to also stop.

"Well, I am no lady. I am a woman, one who knows more of the danger of the world than most," she said so close to his face that he could feel her breath on his skin.

He smirked and said in just as hushed tone as she did, "but no lady or woman or even man for that matter knows the dangers of the world like I." He let out a silent chuckle when she gave no reply and walked on passed her.

Rachel remained glued to the stop as she mulled over his last words. She knew Finn had a history and was far smarter that most in the ways of the world, without even attending school, but he never spoke of what he knew. Instead he would remain quite and watch instead of offer advice. It often made her wonder how much he did know.

"Are you just going to stand there all day? Or will I have to carry you?"

She smiled and turned to him, running to catch up. As she passed him she called, "I am no damsel, Hudson. You know that."

Rachel spent more time in the stables now, she used the horse as an excuse, but she knew deep down that she didn't have to brush her every hour or change the hay every two. She just wanted to spend more time with Finn, even as he worked. He'd normally clock off early so they could go off, but apparently he feels like he's cheating her father.

"Hudson! He doesn't care! Really, I don't even see why you do it. He can hire someone to do this job."

"I know, but I just...I feel I need to do something."

She sighed and rolled her eyes, looking at her still unnamed horse and brushed her mane her the fourth time that afternoon, "you shouldn't, you know father loves you. He truly believes you are his son. And if we're sharing," she stopped brushing and looked over her shoulder at Finn who was changing the hay in one horses area, "I think you were a far better brother than Jesse, you actually understood and listened to me."

Finn also stopped to look at her . She was being vulnerable now, something which he knew she tried to hide because she felt it made her weak, she told him this, repeatedly, "well, you were hard to hard to ignore. You're so loud!" He tried a joke to ease her, but it seems she needed to get something off her chest.

"Hudson! Stop it! I-I really want to talk to you," she pleaded and too a step away from the horse and closer to her.

"Okay, I'm sorry, talk."

"I wanted to say; as much as you are my brother, and I'm told to see you as that, I also see you as my friend."

"I'm allowed to be your friend and brother at the same time!"

"No, I know. But I don't want everyone to think you are my brother all the time." Being subtle wasn't something Rachel would ever think of herself, but here she was too scared to be completely honest. She didn't know a lot about how she felt, all she knew that with Finn it was different, how different? She didn't know, it was all knew.

"Good thing for you people will never accept me for your brother, I'm still the gypsy boy," he said it bitterly, that's to Jesse's nickname. However, Finn hadn't picked up on Rachel's hint. He knew she was different and special and had felt it himself for a long time, but he would never tell her how he felt. He didn't want to scare her or push her away, he didn't want to unset her or her father. And there was the small fact that he thought it impossible for anyone to actually love him. He didn't, no one had in the passed, why should Rachel? He wouldn't want to burden himself on her. He knew Rachel was his friend, but he hopped for her sake it'll stay that way and he's spend his days pining and looking over her. She deserved the world and he wasn't the boy to give it her, although he'd try.

"Well you take no notice of what those idle, pretenders say about you," she took another step closer to Finn who had half collapsed on to a bail of hay, and had his face in his hands so he could look at her face, "Hudson, you are more of a man then any of those others," she took another larger step closer so to tower over him, "a prince in disguise." She whispered as she crouched in front of his, grabbing his wrists by her hands and tearing them away from his face.

Finn kept his face down to hide the shame, "I am no prince, Rachel. You are just dilutional."

She put a delicate finger under his chin and tilted his head to look at her. The faintest of smiles crept across her face, but illuminated her features, "well you are my prince," she whispered even quieter than before, her face so close to his. They were mesmerised by each other and although it wasn't the first time Finn had been this entranced by Rachel, it was a first for her. She was seeing him in a new light, one she's never seen any man before. He was no longer her brother, but the boy who saved her from a life she'd seen plenty of women fall into. One that plenty more will become a slave to, but not her. She had her Finn, her Hudson who would let her be who she wanted to be and he'd taken her on so many while adventures in their childhood and she knew that right here, in this moment, he'd started a new one with her.

They'd been staring for a few minutes before her lips ghosted over his and hovered for a few more seconds are both their eyes closed and finally Finn pressed his lips on hers. She felt his hands wonder down her back and his fingertips danced along her spine which make her tingle. When his palms pressed into her back to draw her closer he parted his lips to gently take her top lip between his, then, magically, almost like waking from a dream, it was over.

There was silence in the stable between the two of them. Only the soft murmur of a horses breather and light rustle of hay. Finn couldn't help the smile grew across his face as he looked at the girl who had changed him for the better. Her lips where still parted ever so slightly and lightly swollen. Her eyes were sparkling and wide. He didn't look at her any differently, it had always been there, between them. There are always been that spark, he just always thought it was her, not a bond the two of them shared. There was no one else in the world he's ever thought of as highly as Rachel, and there wouldn't be anyone else.

"Hudson, I-"

"Yes?"

"I-I," she swallowed thickly, and there was silence. "We better get back to the house."

Yes." Finn got up quickly and stared heading for the door when he felt her soft hand slip into his. It wasn't an unusual action for them, in fact if anyone saw them now they wouldn't know then the two of them had shared a kiss a mere few minutes ago. But they did. She squeezed it tight and smiled up at him.

As they reached the front of the house Shelby was waiting for them. Her cheeks were tear stained and eyes red. She had her hands out in front of her and she was ringing them, pacing until she saw the two of them emerge from the stable, hand in hand, smiles brighter than the sun. At this point she was passed caring about what they'd been up to, whatever it was it would involve Rachel getting excited before diner and mud and grass stains on her neatly pressed dress, and right now it didn't matter.

Once Shelby's face registered with Finn he knew immediately what was wrong. Letting go of Rachel's hand she ran inside not bothering to ask Shelby if what he feared was right. The woman watched him run past, as did Rachel, but she wasn't as quick as Finn to understand, "Shelby?" Rachel stumbled to her, still looking at the door Finn had gone thought, "what-? What's going on?" She finally looked at her nanny and saw the signs of woe on her face. It took Rachel another second until it hit her, like a ton of bricks right in the stomach, "no..."

"May dear child-" Shelby walked the final step between them to catch her as the young woman nearly collapsed to the floor.

"NO!" Rachel screeched, banging her tiny theist against Shelby's shoulder as she held her. The embrace wasn't helping, Rachel felt too enclosed, she wanted to breath, she needed to breath. With whatever strength she could find she pushed away and followed after Finn inside.

The house would almost silent, there was no fire burning in the living room and no bustle from the kitchen below. All she could hear was a creep as the wind hit the house and a half yell, half cry coming from her father's study. "Rachel?" Shelby had followed her in and was looking to console her, but she wasn't having any of it. Before Shelby reached her, Rachel was already on her way to the study, following the noise. The door opened slowly as she punched it open. Strangely she hadn't cried yet, but the scene in front of her finally broke the wall of tears which had been building since Shelby caught her. In the corner of the study was the butler, he looked up at Rachel as she entered the room. His face was stoney, but she saw some pity as their eyes locked. He held her gaze her a moment before his eyes fell to the floor where Finn was. He had hurled himself over the body, his face buried in the waist coat of the man below him as he sobbed. She'd never seen Finn like his, he tried to keep his emotions in check, tried not to show weakness and vulnerability. Here, he wasn't holding back. Rachel's eyes lay upon him and he raised his head to look at her, and she saw they felt the same. He may not have been his biological father, but he was the first person to ever show Finn kindness, and took him under his wing, gave him a home and a place. And now he was gone.

"Hudson," Shelby came passed Rachel into the room and tried to pull Finn off the body, "come on boy," it was the first time she actually sounded like she cares about Finn, "come on, lets get you out of here," she tried to pull Finn up by his shoulders, but he was showing some resistance. In the end it too the force of both Shelby and the butler to hoist Finn up and get both of them out the room.

A week later, and the weather reflected the atmosphere of the house. Not raining, but close to, and sheet of grey cloud covered the moors and the wind howled, rattling the glass in the windows which remains closed. Everyone had kept to themselves, with little communication between anyone. For the first few nights after they found out, Rachel would spend the days in her room, and Finn would creep in in the evenings to check she'd eaten and was sleeping. He, on the other hand preferred to be out, and so would spend the mornings and afternoons lost on the moors, thinking. They hadn't spoken about what had happened in the stable, but Finn knew he cared a lot for Rachel, too much even. He wouldn't be upset about the loss of such a significant person in his life, but for Rachel having to go through that. But she was strong, and was getting though. Now she would join him outside again, and he'd spend the time trying to take her mind off it. She appreciated it, a lot, Finn was the only other person who knew what she was going through; he was able to empathise.

As they stood, side by side outside the house, Shelby near by, a gust of wind blow Rachel's hair round her face and Finn looked over to her. During the week Finn realised, despite neither of them addressing the kiss, he was in love with her. It was everything about her, her little quirks, her beautiful face, her gleeful laugh, everything. He now just needed for her to love him back. He had no idea how he could make someone like her love someone like him, but he knew he'd spend the rest of his life trying if it meant seeing her in a white dress walking towards him someday.

The rumble of hooves on road in the distance made the occupants of the house look up. And sure enough a black carriage was clearly visible against the dull, grey cloud. It was happening. The one thing Finn thought he'd escaped, had returned. Being the rightful heir to the manor it made sense for Jess to return from London and take on his fathers business. Finn wasn't allowed to, not if Jesse had anything to say about it. So the house which was his home would soon become his prison.

"No, no, no," Jesse cried out, "this will not do!" He looked at his dust covered finger and swirled round so he was facing Shelby.

"I'm sorry Master Jesse, we've been a little preoccupied recently," she tried desperately to explain but Jesse wasn't having any of it.

"From now on," he called to the whole room, "things will be a little different." Finn stepped closer behind Rachel and slipped his hand into hers without looking away from Jesse so he wouldn't notice. The light squeeze he felt back was reassuring. "For too long have bee treated more like friends than servants, and you've got to comfortable. Shelby, you must stop constantly coming to the main house unless its to clean," she looked taken aback, but couldn't argue with him. "Joe," she looked at the butler, "from now on you only answer to me, my wife and Rachel...on occasion." Joe gave a slight nod and Jesse began to walk across the room to Finn and to be safe he dropped Rachel's hand, "as for you, Hudson. You can take what possessions you have and-"

Fearing the worst as the two men was now inches from each other staring the other down, Rachel tried to come between the two. If Jesse was about to throw Finn out she had to to something, she could stand by and watch. This was more Finn's home than Jesse's he couldn't just turn him out with nothing. She pushed on both men's chest to part then and come between, "no! No, you can't-"

She was so small she didn't have much success in breaking them apart, "and you'll sleep in the stable. Where you belong. This is your job now, and will be your only job when it comes to this family," he had to roar above Rachel.

He put his hand out for his wife, who tottered over taking it and walked up stairs. Finn stood still, stiff as a pole, keeping his eyes forward as everyone else around him got to their duties. Rachel just looked up at him, once she was sure Jesse was upstairs and not coming back down she rested her head on Finn's chest. It was like he was snapped out from a trance and looked down at her tiny frame against his. He was a giant compared to her. She looked to helpless at that moment, that he hand to wrap one arm round her while the other stroked her hair, keeping her body close to his, "it'll be fine," he whispered, "as long as you're around no job is too awful."


	3. Chapter 3

_**Note: Hey! Sorry for the long wait, I did say you'd have to be patient with this story thought. And I also got a little carried away in the middle...Anyway, here is my Birthday Present to the amazing Lea Michele! **_

_**Please Review, I'm so worried about this story as its not really my own and I really wasn't to do it justice and the only why I'll know if it's any good it by you guys! **_

_**Xx**_

Rachel lay spread out on the pull down bench which was now Finn's bed. She was watching him as he brushed one of the horses and he was aware of it. Now and a again she'd let out an over dramatic sign to grab his attention, but he promised himself he wouldn't let her distract him, and he loved teasing her.

"If you're so bored you could go back in the house. I didn't think Jesse would want you to be here anyway," Finn finally spoke but still didn't look at her.

Rachel pouted and played with a strand of hair, "I'm not that bored...yet." As the strand of hair didn't supply her with much amusement she decided to sweep her long green coat up and down, over the bench, making loose strands of hay whisk around on the floor beneath her. She's hope her presence would have made Finn finish work early. She'd been nothing but bored since the moment Jesse arrived. Not having Finn in the house was worse than she could have anticipated. She hated not spending every minute with him, and now would have to sneak out to find him, "I'm just fed up with Jesse and that awful thing he calls a wife."

"Patricia?"

"No, Hudson, you're forgetting, it's," she stood up and straightened out her skirt to make herself look 'proper' for her impression of Jesse's wife, "it's pronounced," she put on an over the top posh high voice, "Patriciarrrrrrr!"

The both laughed, but Finn still continued to brush away at the horse. And Rachel was felt still looking at the back of his head. She sighed a little more sincerely this time, and kicked a stray stone across the floor, stepping carefully up behind Finn. He could hear her getting closer and closer until she rested her crossed arms across his back and shoulders so she could whisper in his ear, "come on Hudson! Where has your wild, rebellious side gone?" She changed to his other ear and flicked her hair to her other side, "excite me," she whispered even quieter as a smile grew across Finn's face. Finally he had to give in and so he turned round quickly, earning an excited giggle from Rachel as his arms grabbed her hips and pulled her onto his lap. As her laughing subsided her hands came to his face, slipping down his cheek, her thumb stroking his eyelid as it closed under her touch.

"What will become of us?" He whispered when her face levitated towards his, but stopped as he spoke.

"Let's not think about that, I need to do something first," she whispered back her lips ghosting over his. She let out a short breath which consumed him, then lightly and quickly pressed her lips to his. When she retreated she saw his eyes had closed and so did the same again, and again until she felt Finn kiss back, pressing as gently as her to her lips. Feeling confident in her movements she slipped her hand down his cheek and round his neck, locking Finn in place as they kissed. Before long the light pecks turned into heated kisses, with their tongues exploring each others mouths. Last time they did have time for this, the kiss was so short Finn didn't get a chance to really taste her. Their tongues dances together until they broke for air.

"You are not like other ladies, Rachel St James, they would never be kissing the stable boy. If your brother could see you now-"

"Well he can't." She cut him off quickly, needing to be close to him again. Finn's mouth was still open as she dived back in giving her the advantage, slipping her tongue into his mouth as Finn tested how far Rachel would go. He rested one hand on her thigh as the other wrapped round her back and down to her ass where he lifted her slightly so his hand could get a good grip to bring her closer. He though he heard a soft moan escape her delicate lips as he pulled her closer and the very though Rachel's moan set his body on fire. Now wanting nothing more than to hear her moan he rubbed up her thigh and slipped down so his hand was now resting on her still dress covered, inner thigh. This time it was an unmistakable moan coming from her as she continued kissing him passionately. And on hearing it, Finn couldn't hold it in any longer, as so joined her by releasing a low moan her hand went to his one on her thigh and encouraged it to go high until he was now at the junction of her legs and torso. While this was going on her kisses had become more frantically and rushed, and where now being placed around his mouth and she also strived for air.

"Hudson?!"

They froze, mouths open and panting. Finn hoped he'd just go away, but knowing Jesse that was highly unlikely, "get off," he whispered still not moving.

"No, wait, he'll go, I don't care anyway," she whispered back her eyes wondering to the stable door.

"Rachel, please, for your own good. I can't get you into trouble, I won't let myself bring you down."

"Bring me down?"

"Hudson!"

He heard his footsteps and quickly stood up to get Rachel off his lap, she was looking at him weirdly, but he had no time to talk to her before the figure of Jesse was at the door.

"Ah, Hudson. I thought I might find you here," Jesse walked proudly into the room, trying not to touch anything.

Unable to look at his face without feeling anger, Finn looked back at the horse while Rachel still had her eyes on him, "well, you did confine me to the stable, where else would I be?"

Choosing to ignore Finn's sarcastic comment Jesse looked over to Rachel, "you shouldn't be here. Patricia wants a word with you Rachel, something about a book you left out."

Finn looked over his shoulder at Rachel, who still hadn't acknowledged Jesse and cocked his head, as if telling her to leave. She still just stood there, "Rachel! Are you listening to me?"

Finally she tore her eyes from Finn, "yes! Fine!" She walked towards the door, she didn't want to leave. She wanted to be back on Finn's lap with his hand touching her everywhere. But she knew she was only trying to protect her.

"What was the real reason you came here, Jesse?"

"Oh, Hudson, we've had words about this," slowly Jesse was taking off his black leather glove and step by step getting closer to Finn, "you never call me 'Jesse' I'm not your equal."

"Technically I am still your brother, despite how much I loath you-" suddenly, without warming Finn felt his cheek sting with pain. He stumbled back, his hand gripping his cheek as he looked up at Jesse who had a smug look on his face, running his leather glove through his fingers.

"Now, Hudson, you will call me Master, or you'll suffer the consequences."

Finn'll jaw stiffened. He didn't want to show the pain which was very much burning his cheek. Instead he kept his eyes on the big brown ones at the door, ones which were filling with tears. If he stayed strong she'd know he was alright. Rachel shouldn't have stayed, he wanted her to go. She shouldn't watch this, she may be stronger than most girls, but watching a beating is something no one should have to witness, let alone be put through.

She was doing her best to stay hidden, but her head still stuck round the door frame. Lucky for Rachel, Jesse's back was to her and so Finn was the only one who knew she was there. When the first strike hit she wanted to run over to her Finn and kiss the mark. She wanted to yell and scream at Jesse, but when Finn caught her eye she knew he wanted her to stay hidden. She was helpless, useless, it was toucher but she still couldn't bring herself to look away. It was hard to make out what the two men were saying, and Finn's facial expression wasn't giving anything away. He remained neutral, but something was happening, Jesse kept taking steps closer and began to walk round Finn in a circle, eyes glued to his face. She needed to stay calm, but her body was telling her otherwise, it was like waiting for a clock to tick, she knew it was coming without fail but that still wasn't enough to prepare her. Her chest was heaving and she stomach was doing flips, her heart was banging like a drum against her ribs and her her hands were almost shaking when suddenly, it happened. Jesse had hit Finn from behind on his head, causing Finn to stumble forward to find balance, but before he could steady himself again Jesse had already elbowed his back which knocked Finn to the ground. He was on all fours to break his fall, and head was bowed so Rachel could no longer see him. She tried not to cry, but a yell still escaped her lips.

"Are you crying, Hudson?" Jesse taunted him from above, clearing thinking the yell belonged to Finn, "did I make you cry?" He quickly crouched down and grabbed a tuft of Finn's hair to pull his head up. Jesse whispered in his ear from behind, "have you learnt your lesson?"

Finn's eyes locked with Rachel's and he could see the tears in her eyes. She couldn't look away from him, she needed to see that he was alright, and with this eye contact he was telling her so. "There was no lesson to be learnt. You were simply looking for a way to exert some manhood and decided to use me as a victim because you know I won't fight back," Finn said in monotone making Jesse frown.

"How dare you!" He spat at him, "how dare you act like you know me and think you're better than me!"

"You think you're so different, because you went off and made some money in the big city, and so coming back here you think you're more than everybody else. But the thing is Jesse, you're just like all the others. Men, driven by power. Men, thinking they can do what they want and when they want because they can wear a top hat and stride round with a cane that is nothing more than a polished stick. You are just like the rest of them, nothing special." Jesse was so taken aback he didn't know what to do, "oh, and I don't think I'm better than you, I'm know I am. But that's not flattery. You're the lowest of the low and always have been, I may only be just above you, but that's so much better than being you." Finally, Jesse had had enough. He got up abruptly and kicked Finn in the side making he fall lower again, "get up!" He demanded and took off his coat, rolling up his sleeves, "get up you oaf!" Finn's lips pursed together and he took one last long look at Rachel before stumbling to his feet. "Over there," Jesse pointed to corner of the stable, "and I don't want to see your face," Finn obliged, knowing too well if he didn't he'd loose the little home he still had and his Rachel. He knew what was coming, and if it were anyone but Jesse he'd admit he deserved it. Jesse had taken a whip off the wall and was eyeing it in his hands, it was a long newer one he specifically asked to be brought in from London. "Remove your shirt, Hudson. I'm going to enjoy this. You've had it coming since the day you arrived here."

He removed the thin material of his shirt and let it fall to the floor, "anything else you'd like to add to that little speech of yours before I beat it out of you?"

He suddenly had a realisation and turned his head slightly to look over his shoulder at the door, "just that, I'm glad you're doing this here, away from the house. I'd hate for anyone to have to witness this. It would be worse than taking the punishment. And no matter what you do, you'll never break me."

From her hiding place at the door, Rachel knew his last words was aimed directly at her, he wanted her to know he'd be fine and he wanted her to go. But she couldn't. She didn't want to leave him. Knowing he'd prolong his punishment until he thought she had gone, she pressed against the outside wall of the stable, so she could no longer see, but was near to him. Rachel wasn't stupid, far from it, she knew what was coming just as much as Finn. Which was why as soon as she heard the harsh leather crack through the still air and smack Finn's back she fell to the ground. Her knees had been trembling and could no longer hold her up. She was reduced to a mess on the cold dirty floor as her Finn had to take yet another hit. She heard his cries of pain which masked her sobs. By the third strike she regretted staying and listening to Finn being stripped of the last of his dignity by her own brother. Finn's yells had got louder making her more concerned as she brought her knees to her chest and hid her face in them, her hands covering her ears to at least muffle the noises from the stable.

There must have been five hits. Five hits then silence. Then Jesse emerged from the stable, to self satisfied to notice his little sister curled into a tight ball in the floor. He simply walked back to the house, head held high and a more prominent spring in his step. Rachel didn't wait another minute before she rushed to her feet and stood at the stable door.

Finn gingerly reached down to pick up his shirt. A mix of 'ohs' and hisses coming from him as he did so. Once clothed, he turned along to see her at the door. The light from outside hit her from behind only illuminating her so she was nothing more than a silhouette, but despite her face being in darkness he knew how she felt from the body language, that's how well he knew her.

Later that evening she went to find him. He'd told her to go when he'd seen her return to the stable, said he didn't want her to see him like his, he didn't want her to look at the shell of a man he thought he'd become in that moment. The old Finn would have fought back, broken Jesse's neck if he'd laid a hand on him, but then the old Finn would have lost Rachel, the old Finn didn't know what it felt like to be loved by her, the old Finn would have miss out. So for the rest of the afternoon and early evening he sat alone nursing his wounds and cursing Jesse under his breath. While Rachel had to spend her time enduring the company of Patricia and then Jesse when he turned up for dinner, which was particularly hard for Rachel to stomach. She had to pretend she hadn't seen what he'd done to her love, had to sit back and listen while they spoke of pointless, things like the small party Patricia wanted to hold, and the way the staff seemed to be slacking as the spring came bounding on. When she knew it was safe and both Jesse and Patricia was preoccupied in their meaningless duties before bed, Rachel snuck off to the kitchen below. There was noise from the other side of the door, like she was hoping although it could just be Shelby talking to herself.

"You should have come straight here instead of trying to do something about it yourself," there was a tutting and a sigh and Rachel heard the older woman place something heavy on the table, "hold still, it might hurt, but hopefully won't take long and you can eat and get out of my kitchen." A moment silence, then a roaring yell, which was unmistakably Finn's.

Rachel threw the door open to reveal Finn sat at the table, shirtless and Shelby behind him with a damp cloth on his back. At the sight of Rachel, Finn's face tensed. And Shelby looked up in shock until she realised it was just Rachel and not Jesse come to complain

"I supposed you knew all about this," the older woman finally broke the silence and continued with her task, putting the cloth in the large bowl she'd placed on the table earlier and ringing it out, "utterly ridiculous, you and the Master," she went in at Finn, "I knew the two of you in the same house would be nothing but trouble."

"I'm not in the house though, am I?" Finn interrupted her ramble, eyes locked on Rachel's who was still standing at the door.

"No, I guess not," there was a lingering pause while the younger two held each others gaze. Rachel hated herself for running away, she should have stayed, she should have help him, refused to leave the stable until she knew he was alright. "Right, ready to try again? There's not much blood, but I want to get it all off so you don't ruin another shirt."

Shelby raised the cloth to his back, "No!" Rachel yelled taking a single step, into the kitchen, "I mean...let me."

Finn's eyes widened in surprise, not that he should have been. Rachel would always do things out of the ordinary. "Fine," Shelby threw the cloth into the bowl and stepped away so Rachel could get passed, "you're lucky Hudson, perhaps the Mistress with be more gentle then I was," she swept out the room leaving the two of them.

Neither of them said anything, Rachel simply picked up the cloth, rang it out and dabbed ever so lightly on Finn's bruised and bloody back. Jesse had used the whip five times, and had surprisingly good aim as he seemed to have hit the same stop repeatedly. Finn winced, but didn't yell like before, he didn't want to scare Rachel. She was gentle, so gentle that he was sure she wasn't getting rid of any of the dry blood. But after a few more dabs and a rinse she left the cloth in the bowl. Finn was about to get up and put his shirt back on when he felt her tiny hand on his large shoulders, gently massaging and he began to relax. It wasn't long before her hands were replaced with her lips and she began to make a trail of kisses long his back from shoulder to shoulder.

"Rachel..." He rolled his head back, relaxing into every kiss.

"Let's get out of here."

"Rachel! Rachel!" He hissed from the gate she'd just pushed passed. How she persuaded him to get here, in the pitch dark he'll never know. All he knew was that he had to make sure she didn't get into any trouble, it was alright for Jesse to whip and yell at him, but if he suddenly turned on Rachel Finn would never forgive himself.

She crept along the wall, making sure to keep her body low and under the windows, "shh! Come on Hudson! Where's the wild boy you once were gone?" She whispered and crouched below a large window admitting the most light.

He rolled his eyes and joined her, albeit less grace full which only made Rachel giggle, "now who needs to shh?" He sat down behind her and she fell between his legs still giggling.

"Remember we used to sneak in here all the time? What happened to that?"

"Jesse came back. Rachel, you need to keep quite or they'll hear us!"

"Oh! Stop it! I'm whispering aren't I?" He finally gave in and smiled, this is why he loved her she wasn't afraid to be different, like him, "I'm going to..." She held onto the ledge and upped herself up so she could look through the window. Immediately Finn stopped smiling and held her waist.

"Rachel, careful, please," she toppled back into his chest in fits of laughter. "Shh! Rachel!" He hissed but found himself beginning to laugh with her, her laughter was contagious, "seriously!"

Trying to control herself she pointed to the window, gesturing for Finn to look, and he did so. The scene in front of him was nothing short of hilarious. There was Brody, the boy Finn and Rachel would constantly mock due to his oh so proper upbringing, dancing, by himself in this lounge as his sister Quinn played the piano for him. Just as Rachel had Finn fell back to the floor laughing whole heatedly. This only encouraged Rachel more, to the point Finn had to cover her mouth his is large hand, "we need to get out of here or he'll ask me to join!" At that Rachel erupted in to a fit of laughter, it was music to his ears, but being Rachel, it was loud.

"Who goes there? Show yourself!"

Finn tried pulling the small brunette to her feet, but she was still laughing, "Rach, come on!" He wouldn't let go of her hand, he knew that much. As much as this had been a great pick me up he knew it was risky, but Rachel persuaded him. Suddenly a light turned on in the distance and the sound of dogs barking got closer.

"Hudson! Quick!" She was still trying to control her laughter when the dogs were clearly visible, "Hudson!" Suddenly the laughter was gone from her voice, and the fear which replaced it may his blood run cold. There was a scream. And the tight grip on. His hand disappeared.

"Who is it?"

"Hudson! Ow!"

There were barks and yells and Finn turned to see Rachel, half in darkness, on the floor. She was reaching out for him, but was being dragged in the other direction by the animal who's teeth had a tight grip round her ankle. Without thinking, Finn reached down and picked up a stone, throwing it at the dog, and hitting its body so he easily missed Rachel.

"Rachel!" He ran to her, but it was too late, Brody was already there, lifting her off the ground, the dog having cowered behind his owner. "No! Let me-"

"We have to take her inside, clean her ankle, it looks broken."

"Hudson," Rachel cried.

"Look-"

"Don't you think you've caused her enough trouble?! Just go home. We'll be in contact. There's no way she getting back across those moors at this time of night in this state. Just go."

Finn stood torn. What could he do? Brody wouldn't let him stay or take Rachel. But she was still crying out his name as he took her away. He hated himself. He should have stopped Rachel from bringing them here. He should have left before the Fabrays heard them. He should have held her hand tighter. He should have been quicker and picked her up before Brody got to her.

_**Review and hope you enjoyed! **_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Note: sorry for the wait. I'm back at school and I'm fitting in writing with everything else going on, it's manic! But stick around, I've got my mojo back for this fic and have loads of ideas! **_

_**Xx**_

Five weeks. Five weeks of silence. Five weeks of not knowing, of agony and hurt.

Everyday went the same for Finn. He'd wake up with the hope of news of her return, but every time his hopes were dashed. He was more sulky and moody than ever, no one could stand to be around him for more than a few minutes. He won't speak, only grunt. And he didn't care about anything except her. Obviously his behaviour didn't go unnoticed, Shelby knew something was going on, but what could she do? The only letters which came to the house from the Fabrays went straight to Jesse. He'd then announce to the house that Rachel was still in recovery, but enjoying her time there and Finn was never allowed in the house to hear all this, and every time Shelby approached him about it he'd close up. The brief exchanges they did have were her shouting at him about Rachel's current status. But Finn couldn't bear to look at her as she did. All he could think about was how he could have changed everything. If he hadn't given in to Rachel they would never have gone to the house, or if they moved that bit quicker she wouldn't have got caught. It was all his fault, and he deserved to be punished. Having Jesse give it him wasn't enough. He didn't know of the events that went down that night, only that Rachel got hurt and injured. But Finn knew and had to live with himself. He needed the physical pain to out way the emotional, which is why once every week he's do it himself, five whips to signify the weeks she wasn't by his side.

Jesse became suspicious of his action in the fourth week when his horse was supposedly under fed and that was Finn's fault and he deserved a beating. When the taller male removed his shirt to take the hits it was already red, bruised and bloody. Jesse didn't say anything, just added to the sea of purple and red on Finn's back.  
Jesse led a straight forward and simple life, and these past weeks had been bliss. No Rachel to worry about, frolicking on the moors with that oaf. It was a blessing to have her spend time with real people, who lived their lives the proper way, and all he could hope is that their manners and way if life would rub off on her, and perhaps this could restore the family name which had been tainted since that gypsy stepped onto the grounds. Rachel would come back a woman, and converse with his wife about the flowers in the garden at spring time, or gossip about the maid, and she'd sew and read and do whatever idle little tasks women do, while he went about bringing the money in and finding her a husband and marry her off and have her finally out of his hair.

It was a cold March afternoon when he saw a carriage in the distance. Jesse had sent him out to rebuild one of the walls in the paddock when he saw it. He stopped, placing the heavy stone on top of the rest to look clearly. It was definitely the Fabray's carriage, elaborately decorated with two well breds pulling it along. The whole thing reeked of upper class boastfulness which made Finn's stomach turn. His Rachel could be riding in that, she must have mocked it when they first showed her, heck, she must have had such a miserable time over the pass few weeks having to put up with two of the people who Finn and Rachel found were what was wrong with the world. The aspect of coming home, back to how things used to be must have excited her, she must have counted down the days, that's the Rachel he knew and loved. During her time at the house she would have been bored stiff, cooped up, trapped with no one but Brody and Quinn for company. Brody drove them both insane , he wasn't as stuck up as Jesse, which almost made it worse. He was more feminine, as Finn put it, he was brought to be a proper gentleman, whereas Jesse had that dark streak which meant he didn't always play by the rules when he wanted to get what he wanted, and then there was Finn, the complete outcast who really didn't care what he did if it didn't effect Rachel. As for Quinn, Finn didn't have much of an opinion, it was more of the two of them together which he despised. She seemed an innocent, lady, with nothing better to do than find a husband and have children, just like the rest of the women in her class, she was almost plain, not like Rachel. She was the opposite, she was wild and adventurous, not afraid to let her hair down or speak her mind. He hoped she did that at the Fabray's, he hoped she told them exactly what they thought of them, he hoped she spoke of him. A cold harsh wind blew by as the carriage got nearer, his heart fluttered in his huge chest out of pure excitement and anticipation. Not long now, he told himself. Not long until she would be safe in your arm and you didn't have to let her go. He's made a promise to himself, one which he was sure Rachel would go along with and that was they'd run away together. Far away, away from Jesse and the house which caged them, away from everyone they once knew and they'd start again, from scratch. Two lovers making their way in the cruel word. The mere thought made him smile. They'd find a nice little cottage tucked away on the countryside so there was plenty of space for the two of them to explore and breath. And soon he'd make Rachel his wife, they wouldn't have to have it in a church, the priest at the village church hated Finn the moment he walked in all those years ago and he'd never stepped back in since. They's have a small quite ceremony and Rachel would look beautiful. Then he'd get a job, probably helping on a farm or such, maybe Rachel could too, she wouldn't want to be alone in the house, nor would he want her out of his sight. It would all be perfect, their perfect little life.  
"Get outside and look smart!" Jesse's yells could be heard from where Finn was standing a couple yards away. No one had informed him to stand outside the house, no doubt Jesse didn't want him there and would rather he scuttled off in the distance. Without reluctance Finn made his way to the house just before the carriage finished the winding road leading to it, "oh, Hudson, I forgot about you," Jesse said dryly eyeing him up and down slowly, "better head to the stable and ensure Rachel's horse is ready for her arrival, she'll probably want to check on it once she's settled back," he turned to his wife, who was situated behind, "though I don't know how long she'll be back," Finn knew he wasn't meant to hear that, but he did, and the way Jesse said it with such smugness was what was most unsettling.  
"But I-"  
"Hudson!" Jess whipped back round to face him, "need I remind you what happened last time you disobeyed me?" He didn't, Finn still had the marks to prove it, mixed with his own, so he reminded silent, "now be a good little gypsy and run along," his words were bittersweet and patronising making Finn clench his fists at his sides, but he walked away. Rachel didn't need to came back to her brother and lover fighting. He walked far enough away so Jesse couldn't see him, but he could poke his head round the wall to see his beautiful Rachel.

The carriage pulled up and Jesse immediately put on his fake smile and made a little small talk with the driver about the trip and a footman opened the door. Unfortunately, due to his positioning, Finn could only see the back of her as she stepped down delicately onto the pebbles beneath her. What he saw was almost enough to make his skin crawl. It had to be Rachel, she had the same dark hair and tiny frame. But this wasn't his Rachel. His Rachel would be wearing her long mattered green coat and brown muddied boots easily seen under her calf length navy skirt. Her hair would be lose and free so if he were standing close enough and the wind blew the smell would intoxicate his senses. But no. This Rachel stepped out of the carriage in a long cream dress and with lace sleeves, there was a collar to hide her neck which Finn had been desperate to christen as his and her shoes were hidden by the heavy fabric of the skirt which trailed the floor. He could no longer run his fingers through the tight knot which was piled on the top of her head, and would have to pick out each individual pin until he got to see it shine as she turned. He could no longer see the girl he left behind and it scared him. They'd spent everyday together for the past ten years, Finn thought he knew everything about her, he was the only one to understands her as she was to him. But looking at the lady before him it all seemed like lies. False pretences to trick him into thinking for once in his life he wasn't lost, but found by the most amazing girl possible.  
He heard Patricia gasp at the transformation which had made Finn's heat sink, so it was with no mercy that he turned away to hide in his stable.  
"Oh, Rachel, my darling! Look at you! You finally look like a proper lady," Patricia looked about ready to cry with joy, the least Rachel could do was pity her enthusiasm with a weak smile.  
"Thank you, it's different, isn't it?" Her words were spoken with less force and power then she'd usually speak.  
"But a good different, darling! A very good different," Patricia's eyes were glistening with pride, Jesse's prayers had been answered and perhaps there would be a wedding in the near future.  
Rachel shuffled uneasily under her sister-in-laws gaze and quickly looked passed her to Shelby, who also had a hint of pride in her smile. To Rachel at that moment she seemed the lesser of two evils and quick excused herself from Patricia to talk to Shelby.  
"You are no longer the girl I brought up, Miss Rachel. You look beautiful, a welcome change," Shelby put out her hand and stroked a loose hair off her cheek.  
"So I wasn't beautiful before?" Rachel teased, she knew full well what Shelby meant.  
"No, of course you were, this is a different type of beautiful, refreshing," the older woman tried to save herself, but it left Rachel feeling uneasy.  
"Umm, Shelby?" Rachel peered over her shoulder to make sure Jesse was preoccupied, which he was, he was in deep discussion with his wife as they kept glancing in her direction with an unsettling smile on his face, "where is he?"  
The question which had been on her mind for weeks. Nothing, not a note, letter, short appearance, anything from Finn. She though he might come and get her, he would have been stopped, but she would have appreciated the effort.  
It was almost like Shelby knew it was coming, "Jesse sent him to the stable, where he belongs, as I do in the kitchen, and you in the rest of the house," Shelby held her gaze as she spoke, Rachel was smart and knew what she meant, just as Shelby knew that it was no longer just a friendship that Finn and Rachel had.  
"He is more than just a stable boy, Shelby," she kept her voice low so Jesse wouldn't hear her.  
"Maybe, if you are able to get passed the wall he builds up and mopey exterior, which only you can see past."  
Rachel opened her mouth to speak, but was cut short.  
"Who can see past what?" Jesse put an arm round his sister's shoulder and he tried to blank Shelby out of the conversation, "now, how about we all go inside and you can tell me all about the lovely time you spent with Brody, I'm sure you only have good words to say about him," he began to pull Rachel toward the house, Patricia close behind blocking her in.

Dinner was tolerable, the conversation was as you'd expect; questions about Brody, what she did, how her ankle was. Rachel answered accordingly and didn't refuse when Jesse suggested Brody and his sister came round to dinner soon, as a thank you.  
"That would be lovely, I'm simply dying to show Quinn where I plan to hang the picture she drew of me, she is awfully talented, not just at sketching, but at playing the piano, I even sang along, Brody said I had a beautiful voice-" she was cut short by a door being slammed somewhere in the house. The whole table was quiet as they listened to the muffled voices in what seemed to be a heated argument, one voice reaching Rachel's ears and settling uncomfortably.  
"What on earth is going on in there?" Patricia finally broke the silence while Jesse rose to his feet.  
"I haven't the slightest idea, but I'll sort it," he started heading towards the door.  
"No! I'll go!" Rachel quickly got to her feet too.  
"You will do nothing of the sort, it is my staff and I will be the one to reprimand them for disrupted our meal," he quickly crossed the hall to the kitchen and slammed the door behind him. Immediately the voices got louder and the argument turned one sided as Jesse's was the only voice which was audible. Patricia sat with a fake smile on her face the whole time, content to pretend nothing was happening while Rachel was still on her feet, eyes glued to the door, filling with tears as she knew who was having to take the stick. Her heart broke a little when she thought about Finn behind the door, Jesse yelling while he stood there and took it like he took those hits before she left.  
"I'm sorry," she said faintly, excusing herself from the table and heading for the stairs. She couldn't stand there and listen, this was the first time she hard the slightest thing from Finn in weeks and it was hurting her to hear.  
"But we haven't even finished, you must stay, it's your welcome back dinner!" Patricia said sweetly, "it's just the silly stable boy causing an upheaval. He's been restless for weeks, he's this close to losing his job the way he's been acting. But it's nothing to worry about, dear, Jesse says he has a way of keeping him in line." A small shriek left Rachel's mouth when she though of just what Jesse did to keep Finn in line. A tear slipped down her cheek and it was taking a lot not to hit Patricia as she sat there batting her eyelashes at Rachel, such an innocent smile on her stupid face. Finn was right, women like her don't know anything, they're so sheltered and innocent and naïve, ignorant to what happens in the world around them. But the worst was that she doesn't even care, Patricia was happy to sit and let Jesse bully his way through life, she didn't care that Finn worked hard to achieve so little, she was oblivious to the people who dressed, fed and kept her happy. She was in her own little sickening world. They all were. Even Rachel was, and it made her feel ill.  
"No, no I'm sorry," with that she left the room.

"Hudson?" Shelby asked timidly from the corner she'd slowly backed into as the argument took place in front of her in her own kitchen. Jesse had left a minute ago and neither Finn nor Shelby had spoken or made eye contact since. Finn had his back to her, head hung low. "Do you want something cold to put on it?" As much as she didn't agree with Finn's presents in the house, she wasn't one to turn someone away, no matter if she disliked them, "it will become swollen if you-"  
Finn suddenly came to life and grabbed his jacket which he'd thrown on the table when he first came in, he didn't say anything or look at her, just left the room through the back door. Before he left, Shelby caught a glimpse of his face. His expression was clear, his brow heavily knit, jaw tense and eyes like daggers. His cheek was still very red from where Jesse's hand had made contact but he didn't seem to care.

He stable was cold and dark when he got there. The horses were breathing heavily from their respective areas and his small bench looked unwelcoming like always. Still fuming, Finn threw down his jacket, not caring about the cold, and gave the wall a hard kick. It hurt, which is what he wanted. His toes stung even through his thick boot. But it wasn't enough, nothing was. He was a piece of dirt, and everyone now knew it. Even Rachel. He'd never thought those five weeks would do so much damage. She'd more than healed, she'd moved on. Rachel seemed quite happy with Brody and her new friends, he was long forgotten. He just didn't understand how she'd changed so quickly from the rebellious girl he knew to the boring clone woman she now was.  
He felt his anger build again and this time slammed his knuckles again the cold, hard stone. He yelped in pain, it did more damage than his foot, so he did it again. The second time gave him better results, there was blood oozing from the fresh cuts in his skin, a few more hits and he'd get bone. He pulled his fist back for a third hit, but it didn't fly through the air.  
"No!" She cried, running and grabbing his wrist and holding it for dear life, "no! Stop it! I said stop it!" She was still so small, her arms were above her head to hold on to his wrist. Her eyes were tightly closed as she used all her strength to keep him from moving, "stop! Stop it! No!" She was still unaware he was looking down in her, and currently had no intention to punch the wall. He wouldn't do that with her there.  
With a hard tug he was able to release his arm from her grip and she yelled thinking he was about the continue. She was pleasantly mistaken though, when she saw him walking away from her in the direction of his bench.  
"What are you doing here, Rachel? It's late." He spoke in monotone, and there was no comfort in his voice.  
"So?" She sniffed, she didn't like him being cold with her. It wasn't something she was used to.  
"So, you shouldn't be here. You have no purpose or right. I'm sure Brody taught you that during your lovely stay." When the name left his lips she knew his angle, he was jealous. At least that was a small part of it.  
"I have no purpose? No right? I have no right to see you?" She was on the brink of tears for the second time tonight.  
Finn lay on the bench and pulled his thin sheet over him, lying away from her, he knew one look at her and he'd cave in and want to hug her, kiss her, making it back to how it was, but right now he wasn't sure she wanted it, and if she didn't want it he didn't want to force her into it. "Why would you come to see me? I am the stable boy. If you wish to speak to me it should only be in regards to your horse, which is doing fine, she is brushed daily and I walk her every morning and evening."  
"I have come to see no horse, only to find the man I love."  
There was silence which settled thicker than walls of a prison.  
"Yeah? Well..." Rachel's heart fell, he was going to turn her away, cast her away like a pesky pebble, "are you sure he's here and not in some fancy house, prancing around some grand piano while his sister plays?"  
"The man I seek has two left feet, he is no dancer."  
Finn suddenly sat up, the sheet falling off him to the floor, "and when, may I ask, have you seen this man you wish to find dance?!"  
A smile grew across her face at his complete confusion, "when he was still of normal height," she took a step forward, "and not sleeping in the cold," another step, "and still a little boy," a final step until she reached his side and knelt down besides him, "and bore his bruises on the inside, and not on the outside." She tentatively tucked his hair behind his ear.  
"Well, the man you want is here, and he wishes to know if the girl who ran round the moors with him, laughing at upperclass gentlemen and who wasn't afraid to speak her mind is here?"  
She paused, taking him in. His cheek was red, his eyes bloodshot from the lack of sleep he must have gotten, his lips were practically calling her, "she's still here," she whispered before crashing her lips on his.  
Finn was taken completely by surprise, but fell back into that easy routine when her hands came to cup his face his rested on her back, massaging slightly and when her tongue swiped along his bottom lip he parted them so their tongues could explore the mouths they'd missed.

Rachel hummed softly to herself as she waited for Shelby to return with the hair pins from Patricia's room. She was dressed in one of her new dressed, this on a little more formal than the last and was a baby pink skirt and white top with a light blue short sleeved coat with collar.  
"That woman is impossible, she had plenty of pins but was reluctant to let any of them go. I'll only be able to pin half of it."  
"That's fine," Rachel said brightly and continued to hum.  
"You seem happy. Could that have something to do with this afternoon?" Shelby began to pin sections of Rachel long chocolate brown locks.  
"What? Oh, Brody and Quinn. Yes, I suppose, I know it's only been a few days since I was with them, but," she looked at her reflection, "I missed Brody, both of them."  
"We'll have you looking your best, Miss St James, don't you worry about that, you'll be the prefect woman."  
"Thank you." They were both quiet for a moment, "do you think Finn can come?"  
Shelby stopped and looked at Rachel's reflection looking back at her in the mirror. The young woman looked so hopeful, but Shelby knew Jesse would never allow it, "Rachel-"  
"Don't worry. I understand." Shelby continued to pin Rachel's hair, but Rachel didn't hum again.

He was asleep when she came in to find him, which was highly unprofessional as it was two in the afternoon. Feeling bold she walked over to the bench he was sleeping rather uncomfortably across and pulled he thin blanket off his body. It whooshed across the floor causing hay and dirt to whisk around her legs making Finn cough and splutter in his half conscious state.  
"What-?" He woke and batted the dust from his face.  
"Well this is no state for you to make a good impression on Miss St James's new friends.  
"What are you-?" He rubbed his eyes wearily trying to wake up.  
"Why on earth are you taking a nap anyway?"  
He didn't answer, the truth was Rachel stayed by his side until late last night just talking and Finn didn't want to risk carrying her through the house and waking everybody so he let her sleep on the bench and he took the floor, drifting off early that morning, when he woke she was gone. "I was just tired."  
"Well, stop being tired and follow me. We have a lot of work to do if we're to make you the least bit presentable for Mr and Miss Fabray."  
"What? Look, you're going to have to explain what you're going on about here," Finn sat up on the bench and searched for his coat to pull on.  
"It's not very hard, Hudson. Mr and Miss Fabray are coming to the house for the afternoon and dinner."  
"What? No one told me that," he was looking at her perplexed. He'd spent the night telling Rachel everything, about how he planned to take her away from here and make a new life for the two of them, and she couldn't even be bothered to tell him her new friends were coming for dinner the next day.  
"Why would anyone tell you," Shelby said bluntly making Finn glare up at her, "but that doesn't matter anyway, Rachel asked if it would be possible for you to join them. Normally I'd have told her she must be dreaming, but," Finn's expression softened, "given the copious sneaking around the two of you have done, and the apparent agenda for the dinner, you should be there."  
"What agenda?"  
"It's nothing but gossip, Hudson, something you pride yourself on not caring for. Anyway, I have to make you presentable for the rest of the dinner guests, we've little time, and few ideas so get to the kitchen now."

"Ow!...OW!" He dodged the brush, stopping Shelby from getting the tangles out.  
"Well, if you took better care of yourself I wouldn't have to hurt you," she put the brush down and did a final check over. She's managed to find some of Rachel's father's clothes which miraculously fit Finn, they were both tall, Finn maybe just having the edge as the sleeves were a little short. It wasn't anything like Finn normal clothes, however Shelby tried to keep the colours as Finn friendly as possible. Jesse would be in his usual black, Brody in his cream and gold and then there would be Finn in a navy tail coat and brown waist coat. His hair was off his face, finally, but not much else could be done about it.  
"Their here!" Cried a voice from outside and suddenly the whole house sprung to life.  
Shelby walked to the door, "coming?"  
"No, I'll wait a moment."  
"There here! There here!" He could hear Rachel yelling and the pattering of her feet as she ran through the house.  
"Miss St James, please don't run and ruin your dress!" Shelby called after her and left.

"Brody!" She ran right over to the carriage as he got out and immediately engulfed him in a hug. It hadn't been long since she's seen him, but it was enough for her to miss him.  
"Rachel, you must compose yourself. This is not the way to behave," he whispered in her ear trying to get her at arms length.  
"I know, I just missed you is all," her hands ran down his arms until they reached his and he gave her a tight squeeze.  
"And I you. The house is not the same without your voice filling it. You look beautiful, might I add."  
"You might," she giggled and looked passed him to Quinn, who looked just as beautiful in a yellow and white dress, "Miss Fabray!" She placed a kiss on both cheeks to greet her, "oh how I've missed you, you must play after dinner so we can give our brothers a proper show."  
"Of course, now can we make it in side, I've a feeling it's about to rain and I'd hate for my dress to get muddy."  
They did the rest of the welcomes and introductions in the hall before Rachel excitedly took the party into the living room where they were going to have tea.  
"I made sure everything was-" she froze when she entered and saw him standing there. With an arm on the fire place in her father's clothes stood Finn.  
"Rachel," he nodded his head then looked behind her as the rest entered, "you must be Mr Fabray, a pleasure to meet you and Miss Fabray, you look lovely and it's a pleasure to finally officially meet the people who took such great care of my- of Rachel." Neither of them shook Finn's extended hand so he shuffled awkwardly as they all stared in silence. That was until Jesse saw what was going on. His cold laugh pierced the silence making the anger boil inside Finn.  
"What is this?" He chuckled, "the gypsy thinks he can join us?! Has he gone mad?" He walked dangerously close to Finn and almost spat in his face, "did my beating effect your brain function, oaf?"  
"Jesse," Rachel whispered warningly, she knew Finn was about to crack, his hands had formed theists and his brow was low, "just leave it."  
"Leave it?!" He shrieked hysterically, "he must know his place. Rachel please, you have so much to learn, don't be a foolish child in front of our guests."  
"Stop it." Finn muttered causing Jesse's amused look to shift to one of anger.  
"Were you talking to me then, gypsy?"  
"You can call me names all you like, but one bad word against Rachel and I will not stand for it," Rachel looked up at him, of course he'd stand up for her, she knew that. In a room full of witnesses, her friends even, and he was the only one to do so, "she is not foolish, nor a child, she has more wit and brains than the whole of this room put together, especially you."  
Jesse's rage was visible as Finn spoke, and the explosion of it made the entire party gasp as the back of Jesse's hand made contact with Finn's face and he staggered back.  
"How dare you!" Jesse approached again grabbing hold of Finn's hair and pulling on it hard so he had him in a tight grip with no escape, "say that again, I dare you! Mock my name again and we'll see who has the last laugh."  
"I needn't say any more, you have proven to be the monster I've always known you were. And if you had any sense you would have apologised to Rachel by now."  
Finn was suddenly thrown against the table, his hands being too slow to break his fall and landed with a crash, sliding to the floor briefly before being pulled to his feet.  
"STOP IT!"  
Rachel stepped between the two men to prevent Finn being hit again, "please, stop it!"  
The Fabrays were stood still in the corner, eyes on the scene in front of them and Finn saw the look in their eyes of disgust.  
"I'm leaving."  
"No, wait," Rachel begged.  
"I did not come here to be humiliated," he muttered before disappearing out the door.

_**Please keep reviewing!**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Note: Quick update! Lucky you guys! :P warning with this chapter...it gets a little smutty...well a lot. And due to my virginal ways I was unable to produce the writing fit enough for this fic, so I reached out to a very talented friend, whom I shall call my Finn, as she is my Finn. And I love her and would like to thank her again for doing such an awesome job with the characters. She is**_ _**truly amazing. So if you would like to leave a review purely about the smutty times I will pass on all messages to her. **_

_**What else...Oh! It is a little angsty too, and I'm sorry, but it has to get bad before it gets better. **_

_**And finally...shall we not speak of the new episode? I think that will be best for all parties involved. Okay? Good. :P **_

_**Keep reviewing!**_

"Well, that was something," Brody finally broke the silence as he went to sit on the sofa.  
"Don't. Just don't." Was all Rachel could say, she was still in shock from the fact Finn actually turned up, and then had to witness her own brother 'take care' of him.  
"I'm sorry, Rachel. I won't speak anymore of it, let us forget it and talk about when you plan to repay this visit."  
She managed a weak smile and shakily sat down next to him while Jesse watched her, breathing heavily still from his earlier actions, "he had to be dealt with Rachel, he doesn't belong here," Jesse swiftly sat on the sofa opposite, next to his wife.  
"She said she doesn't wish to speak about it. It was an awful ordeal which no lady should ever have to see," she felt Brody's hand on her shoulder and he finally began defending her, maybe a little too late.  
"Mr Fabray, as much as I respect your opinion, when staff misbehave or are rude to me they must be dealt with, in such a way they will not wish to step out of line again."  
"I understand, I suppose the staff we have are just more behaved and know their place in society."  
Rachel listened to the exchange but wasn't paying attention anymore. Her thoughts were in the stable with Finn, she could picture him now, like yesterday beating his theists against the wall.

It was dark when the stable door creaked open. Rachel couldn't see much past her candle, but she could hear the horses stump around and the hay rustle. "Hudson? Hudson it is me, your love, your Rachel. Please answer me, your silence is scaring me more than the darkness."  
It was silent still, and she thought about giving up but remembered the reason she came. How dinner had not been as pleasurable as she's have liked when all she could think of was Finn and how she'd sat alone in her room waiting for the right moment to come to him. There was also the small matter of what else happened after diner which she needed to tell Finn. A creak of wood and the sound of boot on floor made her raise her head and look deep into the darkness, "Hudson please answer!" She begged close to tears.  
"I am here on the bench. Where have you been?" His gruff voice broke the darkness and Rachel felt a wave of relief wash over her.  
"I didn't want to come until the guest had left and I'd changed out of my dress."  
"Of course you didn't."  
She was close enough now to see him and the window behind which he'd hung his coat over to block out the moonlight as he slept. Needing more light she pulled it away and let it steam in so she could see all of Finn, sitting on his bench, theist red and bruised, eyes with heavy bags under them and swore.  
She stood timidly as he took her in. She must have been freezing in just her cotton white night gown, hair in a loose braid down her back, "what do you mean 'of course'?"  
"Who are you?" Finn said quickly, not really listening to her question.  
She paused in confusion, "I am Rachel St James. Your love"  
"No, not this Rachel. I do not love this Rachel who cares about her dresses and when she think it appropriate to come and find me."  
"And what Rachel do you love?" She started to get angry, which mixed with her sadness. Finn slowly got up off the bench and circled her, taking in her attire, her shaking from the cold and her emotion. It was clearly feeling vulnerable, but right now he didn't care.  
"The one who saved me," he teased, whispering into her hair as his nostrils flared as he inhaled her scent. The scent of his love. "Remember how she sat on my lap over there, practically begging me to touch her?" He stood behind her and lightly pulled on the end of her braid before allowing his finger to ghost trail from the nape of her neck across her shoulder. "Is she still there or will I forever be trapped in the cage of our old love? No matter what you do I'll never be set free." Rachel's lips parted as she was about to tell Finn exactly how deep she was in as well but instead of words coming out, light whimpers and whines were emitting from the brunette's lips instead. Finn already had the ribbon of her night gown unraveled as he trailed hot open-mouthed kisses down the side of her neck. Rachel willed herself to speak as she could already feel her knees start to tremble under the feel of Finn's lips, as she stabilized her candle on the window ledge.

"I am just as trapped as you are, my love." Rachel whispered softly with a slight whine to it as she felt Finn's hand begin to trail up her thigh while his lips pressed against her skin harder, starting a small sensation in the pit of Rachel's stomach.

"But your cage is easily broken!" Finn growled almost in a low tone that for some strange reason only caused the sensation in Rachel's stomach to grow. Finn's teeth dragged and bit down on the brunette's flesh as he finished his sentence and Rachel couldn't help but to hiss and press back against the tall boy. Finn only took the brunette's action as encouragement as he let his hands move from where they were lightly stroking small circles on the side of her thigh, dragging them up higher, his lips now peppering tiny kisses on her neck. Rachel dwelled in the moment, licking her lips slowly as she could feel her breath start to pick up and all the blood in her body start to pump to all the right places. Only Finn could make her feel so good and right. Her hand came up to stroke it through his hair, causing the front of her night gown to open further more and Finn's attention was quickly averted as he spun Rachel around, causing her to squeak ever so slightly at the fast and unexpected movement before he pulled away from her body slightly, his eyes glued to Rachel's moon lit bare chest as it rose and fell quicker than normal.

Rachel could feel Finn's gaze on her breasts as prominent as she could feel the blush kissing her cheeks right now, but she wasn't blushing out of embarrassment, just pure love. Her tiny hands came up to each of his cheeks as she lifted his head from her chest till he was staring into her eyes. The pads of her thumbs stroked across his bottom lip slowly as his hands grasped her hips and pulled her closer till he could feel her hard nipples against his upper stomach.  
"I love you." She whispered as she pulled her thumbs away from his lips and brought her own face that much closer in search of his warmth. "Is that a promise?" Finn whispered back after a minute of silence had passed between the two and his hands worked at undoing her long braid.

Rachel nodded her head once as she felt his hands move her the middle of her back to the back of her thighs as he almost, but not quite so closed the gap between their lips that she had put there. "Yes, my love." She breathed out as if though her nod had gone unseen. The need to feel Finn was too great to ignore any longer as Rachel nipped at his bottom lip softly once before pressing her plump lips against his. She sucked on his bottom lip hungrily as her hand got lost in his hair.  
Rachel knew very well that she shouldn't have been doing this, it was wrong and they'd be banished forever if anyone ever found out, but the sensation in her stomach only grew as Finn's hands cupped her behind and pulled her that much closer while their lips connected; caused their lungs to burn for air. They were parted when Finn picked her up in one swift motion, causing her to squeak once again before giggling softly and wrapping her legs around his waist. Finn returned Rachel a sweet smile as he pressed her back against the stable wall. Rachel could already feel Finn's growing erection pressing against her which only caused her hips to roll towards him as she tugged on his hair. She wanted this, even more so than Finn.

His sudden change of mood didn't surprise her. Finn wanted to claim her as his own. She knew her relationship with Brody angered and scared him. So he wanted to take something from her that Brody could never have. She didn't care, she wasn't lying when she said she loved him, and Rachel did love the rebellious girl she used to be, and this seemed like the perfect way to reconnect with her.

Rachel was pulled from her thoughts as she felt a rough, yet gentle squeeze on the backside of her thighs. Her eyes shot up to Finn. He merely licked his lips before locking them with hers once again, the unexpected gesture causing a small moan to escape her lips. Finn was her heaven, she was sure of it. Everything with him felt right; perfect. The kiss only deepened when Finn ran his tongue along Rachel's bottom lip before pushing into her mouth, the little brunette welcoming it instantly. The kiss was full of want, love, passion, desire and most of all fear. By the time Rachel could register any clear thoughts, she was laying across a stack of hay and Finn's trousers were meeting with the concrete, letting his shirt be the only thing between them besides Rachel's night gown and his underwear. Her eyes twinkled up at him in the moonlight through her long eyelashes and all the anger he felt subsided. This was his Rachel. This was his love and only. She may have been a little lost before, but right here and now she was that girl who raced him on the moors and rode horses bareback with him and told him she loved him no matter what. The sight of his Rachel made his heart swell and he quickly ducked his head as he rested comfortably between her legs, allowing their lips to collide once more as Rachel pressed the heels of her feet to Finn's lower back, pulling him all the more closer. She didn't know what had come over her, or she did and was afraid to admit it but she wanted Finn, she wanted all of Finn. Finn eagerly sucked on the tip of Rachel's tongue, earning himself a loud throaty moan and a hip jerk from Rachel, only causing him to realize that Rachel didn't have any undergarments on when he felt her wetness against his lower stomach. He pulled away from her, staring down at her body as his fingers pushed the nightgown that was pooling around Rachel's waist now, higher. His eyes were locked on hers as he took in her entire body before he began to place light kisses on the section the nightgown had just been pushed past.

Rachel watched Finn with dark eyes as the moonlight hit him perfectly on the face as he ravished her left breast. She could feel her wetness growing in between her legs and wanted more.  
"Hudson.." She whimpered in a barely audible tone as Finn traced his tongue around the perimeter of her nipple before closing his lips around it and sucking. Rachel's hips jerked once more and Finn smirked around her breast. Brody could never make Rachel feel as good as Finn made her feel, he was sure of it. He switched nipples as his hand came up to massage Rachel's left breast and his lips gave the same treatment to her right breast. Rachel's whimpers and whines were only becoming louder as Finn licked and sucked on her body. Finn had managed to pull off her nightgown completely and focus solely on her breasts. He nipped, sucked and kissed her hot flesh roughly, yet sweet and Rachel watched him the entire time, only closing her eyes when the feeling in her stomach felt like it was ready to blow just from watching him treat her like that. When his eyes met hers; she saw his eyes fully dilated and laced with lust. Her body felt like it couldn't take too much more of Finn Hudson; but it wanted more. Her little fists bunched on his shirt as she tugged lightly. "Off." She whined, wanting more skin, all of Finn." The tall boy stopped for a second, all that could be heard was their loud breathing.  
"Rachel.. I don't want you to have to see that." He averted his eyes from hers; causing Rachel to just shake her head and pull his shirt up herself as best as she could from underneath him. "I crave to see all of you, my love." Rachel's words were all that Finn needed as he stood to pull his shirt off completely, standing before Rachel completely naked and giving her a full body view. Finn caught the widen eyes directed right towards his erection which only caused him to smirk before resting between her legs again and he began to suck on her neck once again; this time much rougher and leaving behind little love bites.

The sensation in the pit of Rachel's stomach was now a full blown fire as her hands clasped Finn's hair between her fingers and pushed him closer to her. Her hips were now rolling up towards Finn, earning Rachel a soft low growl every so often. "Just do it already!" She hissed out as she arched her back and threw her head back when Finn's fingers ran along her folds. He looked a little shocked; but he couldn't push her this far and not expect more. He licked his lips as his eyes met with hers, his finger still dragging from the tip of her clit, down to her hole and back up again in a smooth pattern. "Are you sure?" He mumbled against her skin and Rachel just reached down, much to Finn's surprise and began to stroke her hand up and down his shaft. Her eyes widened once again as she actually felt how big Finn was. Rachel's eyes only relaxed when Finn placed a finger under her chin and made her look up at him. "Yes." She answered his question and Finn could only groan as Rachel's hand continued to stroke him. "You know, my love, for someone with such small hands you make my giant body feel amazing everywhere." He chuckled softly and kissed the blush that appeared on Rachel's cheeks. His hand came down in between them to still the had that had his rock hard erection in it. "You know you don't have to do this, right? I don't want you to do anything you're not comfortable with. "

Rachel inhaled and exhaled softly as she swooned over Finn in that moment. He treated her like treasure. "I'm sure Hudson.. Take me, make me yours." Those last five simple words were enough to have Finn lining himself up with Rachel's wet entrance. He slowly inched into her. Rachel's only reaction at being stretched so wide was to wince loudly and shut her eyes, her entire body tensing at the feeling. Finn noticed immediately and stilled his actions. "Are you okay, Rachel?" He whispered and Rachel could tell he was scared that he genuinely hurt her. She nodded, prying her eyes open as her eyes looked down between their bodies to see where he was connecting them before she looked into his eyes and pushed her hips up, inching herself around him deeper to show him that she was okay. His hand came up to the small of her back as he held her and Rachel's left hand found a spot on Finn's shoulder; her fingertips instantly recognizing a welt on the back of his shoulder. She leaned her body up to kiss the closest to the welt that she could get before her body fell back again against the palm of Finn's hand. Finn had slowly managed to push himself into Rachel entirely and now she was adjusting to the size and the stinging she was feeling but she smiled when Finn looked into her eyes and pushed a strand of hair from her face. After Finn was sure Rachel was okay he started to rock his hips against hers slowly, but slowly picking up a pace. The stinging was beginning to feel good and Rachel's mouth was hung open as Finn's pace steadied and grew momentum. She hadn't really noticed when tears raced down her face, only that Finn wiped them away. Her lungs were aching for air as her and Finn's tongues collided with each other. Her chest rose and fell rapidly and little beads of sweat began to race down her body till they met with Finn's and disappeared. Her hands were searching for anything to grip to; resulting in new scratches and small welts from Rachel's nails and teeth on Finn's shoulder and back. Moans and whimpers filled the air as Rachel tugged on Finn's hair and he pushed into her deeper, each and every thrust a bit harder than the last. "All I ask is that you say you love me; can you do that? Don't stop until it's over." Her eyes met his in confusion but Finn knew what he wanted.  
"Please Rachel?"  
"I love you."  
Each 'I love you" to spill from her lips was different from the first. Her breath hitched and her voice sounded raw as Finn continued to stroke his hips into her. Rachel had been on the edge of the hay stack but she couldn't find the words to express it as her body felt like pure ecstasy. A loud scream fell from the tiny brunette's lips as Finn thrust into her hard and she lost her grip on his shoulder, causing both of them to fall right off the haystack but that didn't stop Finn. Rachel's moans encouraged him to continue as he brought her legs up to rest on his shoulders before he pushed back into her in one swift motion his entire length was inside of her once more. Rachel ignored the stinging that was now happening on her back as she brought her own hips up to meet Finn's, causing both of them to moan at the action.  
The burning in the pit of Rachel's stomach was growing and growing just as Finn's breathing and groaning was picking up. Rachel's hands just ran through Finn's hair as she kissed any part of him her lips could reach while Finn pumped into Rachel fast and hard. Every time Rachel lifted her hips and dropped them again; she was sure more hay was sitting on the sweaty skin of her underside but soon enough she didn't care as her entire body tightened up when Finn hit a certain spot. "Love love love love, right there. Just right there." The brunette moaned as she moaned. Her moans got louder and louder and just as Finn was about to flip her over; Rachel's entire body stiffened before she started convulsing. Finn slowed on his thrusts; as he came with her, his own grunts and low moans filling the room and mixing with hers, as he kissed all over Rachel's exposed, sweaty skin, loving how she tasted before Rachel let out one last whimper. He thrust into her a few more times before she lifted her upper body after she was sure she was done shaking. Her big brown eyes locked with his as both of their chests raced. "I love you, Hudson." She whispered before colliding her lips against his once again.  
"Run away with me," he whispered.  
There was silence. And Rachel pulled right away from his face to read his facial expression.  
"You can't be serious."  
He sat up glaring down at her, "why not? We've talked about it enough, what time is more perfect then now? After the act of love we just shared, together."  
"Hudson, I-" she suddenly felt under pressure and her stomach sank when she looked at the sudden anger in his face.  
"You what, Rachel? Was what we just shared all a lie?"  
"Hudson, there's something you need-"  
"I love you Rachel! There is one thing I've always been sure of and that is my love for you. I may not be a prince, or perfect, but I promise to try to be, I will protect and honour you until the day I am torn from you and our world."  
She was speechless, which Finn didn't take as a good sign. He reached for his trousers and started pulling them on as Rachel sat up behind him wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch his shoulder, but feared he would push her away and leave her feeling rejected.  
"You are asking me to risk my reputation. A woman without a reputation is nothing." The words which came out of her mouth where not ones she would have said six weeks ago, or she liked to believe she wouldn't. But maybe deep down she was just a scared little girl getting swept away with Finn and his ideas of the world and love, but now she needed to be realistic.  
"Your reputation?!" He spat out and quickly turned on her, "you know what? You're just as bad as the rest of them!" Finn walked away from her and silence filled the room, "and you what to know the worse thing is?"  
"What?" She managed to choke out.  
"I still love you."  
"Hudson-"  
"No! Don't there is nothing you can say to make the situation better or worse. Right now I can't even look at your beautiful face."  
Rachel sat up searching for her nightgown which had been throw on the dirty floor. She picked it up and hugged it close to chest trying to cover her breasts to look more decent, somehow being expose didn't seen appropriate, "well, if you can not hate me even more, I should let you know...Mr Fabray has asked to marry me."  
Finn suddenly turned around from his place by his bench, "you didn't say yes?"  
"I did not."  
"But you didn't say no."  
"I told him I would think about it. Which I intend to do." She stumbled to her feet, "Brody is a good man with a stable home, and he loves me. I know he does." She couldn't look him in the eyes as she spoke, instead distracting herself by stepping back into her clothes.  
"Have you considered the separation from me and how quite alone I will be in the world if you were to say yes?"  
"Why would we be alone? I could get you a position at the Fabray's manner! You wouldn't have to work, you could live your life the way my father intended you to. You'd be free from Jesse!" She took small steps towards him, reaching out for his hand, but Finn only stepped away.  
"With your husbands money! Rachel do you know how degrading and quite repulsive that is? It almost disgusts me as much as his face!"  
"Hudson! There was do need for that, I am simply trying to find a better life for you."  
"Then run away with me!"

She was surprised that Shelby was still up when she got back to the house. It was almost as if the older woman had been waiting for her. Rachel may not have always seen eye to eye with the woman who was the closest thing to a mother figure she had, but she knew deep down she's always have her best interests at heart. With a cold shaking hand she knocked on the back door to the kitchen where the firelight fluttered behind the windows. The small brunette wasn't waiting long before Shelby opened the door holding a blanket and invited her inside.  
"I thought you would stay the night with him," Shelby handed over the blanket and Rachel took it, walking over to a chair placed next to the fire, "I was about to go to bed you were gone so long."  
Here was a hint of superstition but also knowing in her voice which only made Rachel reminisce further on the nights events, "I'm sorry, I should have returned quicker," she replied in a daze, mind still in the stable.  
Shelby considered her for a moment, what Rachel had done was an act against God's will. Engaging in such activities before marriage were unholy and quite wrong, Shelby even bought it wrong to allow Rachel back in the house, but this was the girl she's raised from birth, had taught her all she knew and loved. Never having children herself Shelby had found herself brewing particularly attached to little girl of the St Jesse household. So she told herself that whatever happened in that stable was Hudson's doing, and not the sweet innocent girl she raised. "Have you thought much about Mr Fabray's proposal?"  
Rachel stayed silent, looking into the flames and Shelby approached her, pulling the blanket tighter round her shoulders. "Miss St James?"  
"I know he can and will provide for me. He loves and cares for me and will take care of me. He is also handsome and so very kind." It had almost become a programmed answer she gave.  
"Do you realise," Shelby said sitting opposite her, "you didn't once say you loved him."  
Finally Rachel's attention was caught, "I will learn to and I do...It doesn't matter how I feel now, I need stability and to get out of Jesse's hair comfortably."  
Shelby looked at her in anger and almost pity, "that's not good enough. Rachel I know you, I raised you, I tried to tame you when that Hudson came along. But I couldn't because you didn't want to be tamed. I have never seen you so happen then when you were with Hudson. Not that I like him in the slightest, he has no manners, is rude, constantly moody, but he also puts you before himself, always has done."  
"My love for Brody is like blossom on a tree. It is beautiful and delicate and everyone will look on it in ore, but it isn't around for long, I fear it is fleeting." She took a long pause and Shelby didn't pressure her as she thought, looking back into the fire, "my love for Hudson is like a stone, a bolder, it's heaving and rough and will always be there, no matter what people do."  
As Shelby looked at her deep, round, beautiful chocolate eyes she saw how the glistened with tears, "my dear-"  
"What do I do? How can I love a man who doesn't love himself? Or marry one who doesn't know the real me?"  
"Well, if you chose Mr Fabray your brother would be proud. And if you like him and he loves you where is the obstacle?" And with that Shelby got up and kissed Rachel slightly on the forehead, giving her shoulder a squeeze, "it would not be practical to marry Hudson," she whispered and headed for the door.  
There was a screech of the chair against the floor and Rachel stood up abruptly, "when have I ever been practical?" Shelby slowly turned to see Rachel standing in front of the fire place, the flame illuminating her from behind, "when? I am at my best when I am with Hudson. The last few weeks I've just been kidding myself. If this whole world was to disappear and all was left was me and Hudson I know I would be alright because his is me. But if he is not in my world I would be nothing. I love him. What we have may not be right to the rest of the world, but it is right for us. He is the man of my dreams, and I will do anything to let him know that."  
"There's your answer."

The next morning, while there was still a light covering of mist engulfing the house and the clouds was still a dull, miserable grey Rachel creeped downstairs dressed in her old ratty green coat out to the stable. Last night everything became clear. Maybe she did have feelings for Brody, but deep down she knew it was always going to be Finn she was pulled to and if it meant she had to run away to be with him then she'd have to do it. She gave him the night to calm down, because after refusing his second proposal of running away he looked about ready to punch the wall again. The mood swing might be an issue, she fear if he was left alone too long he's do such significant damage to himself that he mightn't recover, but preheats if they were away from here and Jesse and all the bad things in his life then he'd be the Finn that made love to her last night. Kind, caring and considerate.  
She skipped the last few steps to the stable ready to tell Finn the news, "Hudson? Hudson, it's me, your love and only, and I know I didn't agree with you last night, but on reflection I know it is you I want to spend the rest of my life with and it has always been-" her bright smile faded and she looked confused at the already empty bench. Finn would be up early, but she hoped she'd catch him before he started his work. She noticed his coat was not hanging up and the blanket was still on the floor where they left it last night she also noticed a horse wasn't there and they were now left with only four instead of the five; hers, Jesse's and the two which pulled the carriage, the one used by servants to get to the village was missing. Chewing on her bottom lip, Rachel stepped out side to see if he was in the paddock and she'd missed him on her way it, but it was empty. Her blood ran cold as a though crossed her mind, but she refused to believe it. Instead she ran to the entrance of the grounds and sat against the wall, waiting. She would be the first person he saw on his return, she'd make sure of it.  
It must have been late evening when Shelby found her, curled into a tight ball still against the wall, coat pulled tightly round her, tear tracks on her cheeks. In the late afternoon she realised he wasn't coming back anytime soon, but she refused to pull herself off the ground in case there was a chance she missed him. But he never came back.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Note: REALLY QUICK UPDATE! I was itching to write I guess. **_

_**I little bit of smut again, but really nothing, I wrote it and it didn't need much to it. You'll understand when you get there. **_

_**Although I feel my own inspiration with this story, I feel you guys have lost or are losing interest...:( **_

_**keep reviewing for me to continue! **_

_**Xx**_

* * *

Standing mixed with the crowd she was certain she was the one who stood out the most. Not for the way she was dressed, or placed amongst gentlemen and their ladies, but because she was the only one to know of the pain suffered to get to this point. Who'd have thought a little over three years ago her mind would harbour the tears and secrets of a person she'd never wished ill on. For that is what the girl was for sometime, ill. Sick. Broken. A shell. But now her smile was bright, and was the brightest against sea of people smiling for her. But not Shelby, because she knew. She knew it all. She'd held Rachel all night for months those years ago. She'd explained to Jesse that she was unwell and told Brody to have patience. Shelby had nursed Rachel to a fit enough state to stand back on her feet, even if she had to be a crutch now and again. Looking at her now from the front pew she though it was worth it. Worth it to see her happy.  
During the ceremony her mind couldn't help but wonder to where he was now and what he was doing. Did he suffer like Rachel? Did he think of her? Or talk fondly of her to the new people in his life? Was he happy? It was hard to imagine that the boy she knew could ever be happy. It was sad to think that way of him, but Finn never smiled unless Rachel was around. He barely spoke without her by his side. And despite the happiness he gave her, she hoped he was miserable, he deserved to be.  
The clapping and cheering echoed though the church as the happy couple took their first steps together as man and wife. And even with the genuine smiles around her, Shelby could still only produce a fake one, the older woman knew this wasn't the life Rachel really wanted for herself. It was one she'd now settled for. Maybe some day she'd learn to love it, that's all Shelby could hope for.  
The Fabray home was filled with music and laughter, the way it should be when celebrating the man of the house's wedding day. People were dancing, children were scuttling around and Rachel was the centre of attention in her white wedding dress. Her hair pinned in lose curls, a ring of summer flowers a halo on her head. She was beautiful and finally his after three years of waiting. He thought this day would never come, but now she'd be his forever and no one could changed that. She fitted in will with his family and the house, right now as he looked at her by the floor to ceiling windows she was giggling to Quinn as women do and as her gaze wondered to him, their eyes met and she smiled before laughing loudly at something Quinn had whispered in her ear.  
"Perhaps it will be your wedding next my dear sister."  
"I like how we are now sisters, and you will of course be my bridesmaid if ever that day were to occur."  
"Ah! And who will be waiting for you down the aisle?" Rachel looked over the guests now dancing round the living room, "will it be Mr Karofsky?" The two girls burst into fits of laughter as a broader man tried to dance clumsily round a table of flowers just in fornt of them.  
"He is quite the dancer!" Quinn joked, sarcastically trying to gain composure, "but I have heard of his ways and he is not the gentleman he seems to be, I fear his anger and control over things would annoy me."  
Rachel had to turn away from the party and look out the window as she still couldn't stop laughing at the though of the beautiful, graceful Quinn with someone like David Karofsky. Her curiosity was caught when she saw a young man at the window, peering in on the celebrations. She didn't know him, and he looked a long way from home in his dirty shirt outside her now impeccable house. Politely excusing herself from Quinn, Rachel snuck away from the party to find out more about this man.

"I see you!" She whispered coming round the corner of the house. The man jumped and looked petrified, she didn't know if it was her finding him which made him jump or the purpose of him being there. "It's alright, I won't yell at you, or call for assistance in removing you off the premisses," she handed him the bread roll she's brought out with her and immediately he thrust a piece of paper at her, "what is this?" She smiled, taking the paper and opening it.  
"He told me to give it you, he said only you could read it."  
"Who did?" The paper was now open, but she didn't read it, only looked at the man for more answers which he didn't seem to give.  
"The man at the pub, with the nice horse and coat, gave me a room for the night if I gave it you."  
"I don't know a man who-" a small sharp inhale as she read the five simple words on the paper.  
'I know you betrayed me.'  
"Where is he?! Where might I find him?!" Rachel began to get hysterical, but the man's attention was averted behind her.  
"Rachel, my sweet? What's going on here?"  
She quickly scrunched up the paper in her palm and and man bolted.  
"Who was that? He wasn't hurting you sweetheart?"  
"No, Brody, no" she quickly blinked to rid the tears in her eyes, "he actually reminded me of me, when I used to spy on your house."  
"Oh yes, you and that gypsy were always snooping round here."  
"Hudson. His name was Hudson." She said firmly and Brody held out a hand for her to take.  
"Yes, Hudson. Now come along, we mustn't leave our guests too long, Mrs Fabray."  
She took his hand and smiled warmly at her new name, but as they walked inside Rachel couldn't shake the words which were on the paper. Finn. He was back.

The summer night was cool, as she stood looking out the window. The clink of the door closing meant nothing to her, as she continued to stare and be encapsulated by her thoughts. Finn knew she was now married, he must have been watching her. But he left, he left her three years ago, after he stated he never wanted to be separated from her, he left her. What did he expect? She waited, she would have forgiven him if he came back, but instead he remained a coward and stayed in the shadows. Why now? She was prepared to risk it all three years ago and probably would still have if he's contacted her a year ago, but now? On her wedding day.  
"My dear? Are you alright? You did not answer my question," Brody came up behind her and wrapped his arms round her waist so Rachel could not move.  
"I'm sorry, I was lost in my thoughts. What was the question?"  
She felt him smile as he delicately kissed her cheek. His arm loosened round her waist and spun her round so they were face to face. Slowly he ran his finger tips down her exposed arms until he could hold her hand and pulled her along with him to the bed. His question was now obvious, the intent flashed in his eyes, and it was their wedding night after all. Brody clumsily stumbled and hit the bed, but he not seem to care, he only hugged Rachel close to his chest and kissed her neck sweetly. His lips were soft and his kisses were sweet, but they didn't hold the passion and longing Finn's had done. Rachel found herself pushing away and Brody looked at her a little hurt.  
"I'm sorry, but today's celebrations seem to have left me a little tired. I hope you don't mind." She bit her bottom lip, as she lied to her husband for the first time. It was not that she was tired but Finn was filling her mind and when she shared that experience with Brody she didn't want to be thinking of the love who'd left her broken.  
"No, it is fine, I understand," Brody looked a little disappointed, she knew that, but he was considerate of her feeling and always had been, "I will get Shelby to make up the bed in my old room." He gave her a weak smile and kissed her forehead, "goodnight my darling." His hand stoked down her cheek before he went to the door.  
"Goodnight my husband" he tuned back to smile at her as the unfamiliar phrase left her mouth. But once the door closed behind him again, she sank to the floor, holding onto the bed post as the skirt of her beautiful wedding dress pooled around her and cried.

The summer seemed to be a good one considering the days they'd had so far. Although it was still early in the season, the days were long and hot, but not unpleasant. There was still a cool breeze in the morning and late afternoon. It was only at midday that Shelby found the entire house chose to stay indoors with the windows open wide. She, however, had the unpleasant job of walking into the village to run errands for the house and her lady. She didn't complain, had Rachel not decided that Shelby stay as her lady's maid she'd still be in the St James household, which had become increasingly unpleasant. Jesse had become more demanding and controlling since Finn left, it was almost like deep down, with Finn around he was scared he would retaliate if pushed to the limit. But with Finn gone he was almost unbearable. His own wife seemed to be scared of him.  
She rather enjoyed the last few yards of her journey, through the Fabray garden. It was beautiful and so private, there was a long pebbled path with an arch of vines growing above her with small buds of flowers ready to open. She new the walk like the back of her hand and took in all of her beautiful surroundings. So she knew when something was out of place or wasn't welcome and what was leaning against the wall of the house certainly wasn't welcome.  
"Do you not recognise me, Shelby?" He stepped away from the wall and closer to her, his arms in a position as such to say 'look at me now'. "It is I, your not so good friend, Hudson!" He was taunting her, in his new green jacket and brown waist coat and polished, but maybe still a bit worn boots.  
Managing to find her voice which seemed to have been shocked out of her Shelby looked at him closely. It was him, once you took in the defined jaw line he always had, and the amber eyes it was unmistakably the boy who'd entered the St James's household thirteen years ago. "Could it really be you?"  
"Yes, Shelby. It is," he was almost bored with this meeting and it reflected in his voice, "now be a good little maid and fetch her for me."  
The one thing Shelby really didn't want to do and knew no good would come of it if she did. But she couldn't stop him, she was a maid, and he was now above her it seemed.

The clock ticked as silence filled the room. Quinn was sewing something on her knee in the armchair across from her and Brody was on the sofa, rifling though some papers. Rachel was sat with her book, but hardly reading it, she's much rather be doing something more productive with her day, but there was nothing much to do and she didn't want to get the hem of her dress dirty. The timid knock at the door made everyone look up, "come in."  
"Mrs Fabray," Shelby bowed and looked directly at Rachel warning in hr eyes and immediately the small brunette knew what was happening. She hadn't waited more than a day and already he had come. Her heart began to race but she couldn't give way what was happening with her husband and sister-in-law still in the room, "a man wishes to speak with you."  
Brody put down the papers he was holding and looked quizzically at the maid, "a man? Please, Shelby, if it's not too much to ask could we have a few more details as to whom asked to speak with my wife?"  
Shelby's fear was visible as she looked to Rachel for help, "oh, it is probably the man I asked to enquire about my horse, the stable boy was useless when it came to her highly regimented routine, so I asked a man said to be specialised in this area to have a look." Rachel put her skills as a performer to good uses as she thought on her feet, "I shall go to him now. Thank you Shelby."  
Without looking back to the room Rachel walked out the door and when out of sight from the occupants of the living room she ran through the rest of the house, not caring that she nearly knocked a servant flying across the hall. There was no sign of him at the front of the house and a little breathless she ran round the edge of the house until she reached the back.  
There he was.  
The man who'd stolen her heart those years ago. Back, in the flesh. She only hoped his change in appearance didn't mean his feelings for her had changed too. For it didn't matter what hell he'd put her through she loved him. Last night on the floor she realised it. Finn Hudson owned her heart. And no matter how hard she tried he'd always have it, much as she had his she hoped. His head was bowed, but his eyes were on her as soon as she came into view. There was a beat of silence and staring, until Rachel rushed to him. She didn't care that she married only yesterday. She's been missing Finn for three years. Her hands gripped his head tightly and she launched herself on him, kissing over every inch of his face. Her hand slipped though his hair and she stood on tip toes trying to reach his forehead.  
Finn however didn't move. He didn't embrace her, he didn't move his head as she kissed, he simply stood there, letting things mull over.  
"I have missed you so much!" Her voice was breaking as she spoke, and she didn't want to let go for fear she'd lose him again.  
"When can we be alone?" He mumbled, pulling her hands away from his face in his so he could look at her. She saw the sadness, the loneliness, the plea for help and it made her heart break more.  
A polite cough made them both spin around, "Mr Fabray would like you to bring your friend indoors, he thinks it very unladylike for the two of you to be out here together."  
Rachel looked between the two of them speechless. If Brody was to know Finn was here she'd have to warn him, she'd have to clear the air or Finn would be on his way again and out of her life when she'd just got him back. Without another word she ran back to the house.  
"Brody? Brody!" She yelled running into the living room, where he stood waiting, "Brody, you must promise to be kind," she practically threw herself on him in hysteria, "you must be civil, it is Hudson, he has come back. But he is my friend and you must get along or-"  
"Rachel!" He grabbed her by the wrists to separate them, "you need to calm down, the way you are acting is most childish and unladylike. Please."  
Before she had time to make her point again Quinn's voice filled the room, "brother, my dear Rachel, look who I found hovering in the hall, it is Mr Hudson." Rachel turned petrified as the moment of truth was about to happen. "Hasn't he changed quite a bit," Quinn continued, holding Finn's hand and leading him into the room. Rachel didn't like the way she was looking at him. Quinn eyes hadn't left Finn as she took in his drastic change of appearance. Rachel hadn't noticed it much before, she was too focused on just having him back in her life, but Quinn was right. His dirty shirt and long brown coat from when he worked the stable were long gone. He was far more elaborately dressed, not to Brody's extent and there was still a certain something which made him Finn, but it was different.  
"Hudson? Or is it Mr Hudson now? What am I to call you?" Brody felt a little intimidated by the taller man, and the way his sister was eyeing him made him uneasy.  
"Mr Hudson will be fine," Finn didn't care about being invited to sit, he just did, which made Quinn giggle, but she sat opposite him, still doe eyed.  
"Why have to come to my and my wife's home, Mr Hudson?"  
"Wife?" For the first time since he came into the house, Finn looked at Rachel, "oh yes, I did hear about that. Married, only yesterday." He looked at her like she was dirt, but no one else noticed. It made Rachel blood boil.  
"Let's not speak of the wedding, Mr Hudson. I'm far more interesting in how you came to such good fortune," Quinn batted her eyelashes and lent a little closer in Finn's direction.  
However her flirtatious ways were all in vain when Rachel finally saw a spark of the old Finn. In a rather more harsh tone then anyone lose would have asked, Finn directed his question solely on Quinn, "and what, may I ask, tells you I have a fortune?"  
Quinn opened her mouth a few times, but nothing came out, making Rachel smile, "well...your clothing for a start."  
"Are you saying you make judgements, Miss Quinn, on what people wear? If I were in a dowdy old battered coat, would you think of me any differently?"  
Rachel had to cough to hide the laugh that she couldn't stop. Quinn looked so taken a back and confused that she looked over to her brother for help.  
"Out of pure curiosity, much like my sister, how did you make your fortune, Mr Hudson?"  
"The same as every man, Mr Fabray, by prying on the weaknesses of other men," he said cooly and with such ease it was almost like he was taking advantage of their hospitality. Finn had clearly come to make a point, but what that was Rachel was unsure. Brody's hand on her shoulder told her he was uncomfortable with Finn in his house, and if she were being honest she was too.  
"You must forgive Mr Hudson," Finn's eyes locked with Rachel a small smile on his lips until she continued, "husband, he likes to provoke." It was as soon as the word 'husband' left her mouth that his gaze darkened and she almost took pride in the way he was hurt.  
"I am surprised, Miss Quinn that you have not married. You seem pretty and charming enough," Finn quickly changed the conversation to one which strangely angered Rachel.  
"Oh, really, I suppose I am just waiting for the right man to come along," she blushed and smiled coyly in Finn's direction.  
"The right man? Sometimes it's hard to know if he is already there, and the right man might not always be what you think he is. Right for your heart, or right for your future?" Rachel tensed and pursed her lips as Finn caught her eye, but then looked past her to Brody, "what do you think, Mr Fabray?"  
"Often he will be both, be able to provide and love and care for his wife."  
"I see, and what of the other suitors?"  
"He should have had patience," Rachel quickly interjected, knowing full well Finn was directing this at her, and this time not so subtlety as it was clear Brody knew what Finn was getting at, "I mean they should have patience. Their time will come." A awkward silence filled the room.

That evening Rachel sat at her dresser slowly removing her earrings when Brody came into the room.  
"I thought I might say goodnight, I was just heading to bed."  
She looked at his reflection through the mirror. He was being a gentleman again, but he shouldn't have to wait forever, he was her husband, they should lay together. But there was always that feeling deep down which made her think of that time in the stable with Finn. Nothing could compare to him, and she didn't want anything to. That experience, if it was all she had she would always carry it with her. Brody's eyes looked longingly at the bed, then away again.  
"Brody-"  
"Rachel, it's fine. I understand. But-"  
She turn round so they were no longer speaking through the mirror.  
"But?"  
"With Mr Hudson back-"  
"Brody, there is no need-"  
"No I need to know-"  
She quickly stood up and walked over to him, "please!" She pleaded.  
"How do you feel about him?"  
In a second a million emotions rocketed through her. Seeing Finn again brought back memories she though she'd pushed away. But when he teased and tormented her she wanted nothing more than to slap the smug smile off his face. How could he be so annoying and irritating yet she be in love with him at the same time...and be married to another man. In was in that moment she noticed her life was a mess. She was in love with a man who she could no longer have. Suddenly she saw noway around Brody's question with words, she couldn't tell him the truth, he'd cast her out the house in an instant and forever be known as that girl. So she kissed him. Hard and fast on the mouth, grabbing his head in both her hands to steady him, "does that answer your question?"  
They were on the bed minutes later, Brody trapping her under him with his limbs acting as a cage. She didn't want to think. She wanted to get it over with. Prove she could be a wife. Luckily Brody took control, in a swift motion his trousers and underwear were off and on the floor while she lay in her nightgown, waiting. There was nothing pleasurable in it. He didn't work her up into a frenzy like Finn had done. He didn't meet her needs, although the did try. His hand wondered over her form and played with clothed breast momentarily, but Brody seemed to have wanted this for so long he didn't waste time before thrusting into her. It hurt, but only for a short while, and Brody waited before moving slipping in and out of her. Hips hitting hers with each thrust. It didn't matter how fast or deep he tried to get, for her there was no passion, or love, or lust like she'd had with Finn. It was nothing. And with every thrust a little piece of her chipped away, until it was over and Brody was spent. And as he lay asleep next to her in their marital bed, she cried.


End file.
